The Outrage Machine

The Homework Machine,

Oh, the Homework Machine,

Most perfect

contraption that's ever been seen.

Just put in your homework, then drop in a dime,

Snap on the switch, and in ten seconds' time,

Your homework comes out, quick and clean as can be.

Here it is— 'nine plus four?' and the answer is 'three.'

Three?

Oh me . . .

I guess it's not as perfect

As I thought it would be.

~Shel Silverstein

I am, apparently, part of the problem.

Because I’m not outraged. And by outraged, I mean OUTRAGED. And by OUTRAGED, I mean

OUTRAGED!1!!

And that’s still not big enough.

There are people – they know who they are – who are properly outraged. At least 90% of what they post on social media is outrage-related. There are many, many things to be outraged about these days.

But just as we lament the advent of the 24-hour news cycle, where money is spent and time is invested to churn up things for us to be outraged about, we should also lament the 24-hour social media cycle, which is us – as individuals – on that never off Outrage Machine.

I know it’s time to get off social media myself when the Outrage Machine starts kicking in.

Should we be outraged?

Yes.

Should I be OUTRAGED from the moment I wake up until the moment I fall asleep, and then roar into MOAR OUTRAGE when I get up in the wee hours of the morning to relieve myself?

No.

And should we be outraged whenever someone expresses an ounce of doubt or requests further information or expresses a tittle of outrage fatigue?

This isn’t denial. This isn’t escapism.

It’s allowing me to choose when to express any outrage I feel.

It’s allowing me to choose to turn off the Outrage Machine when I feel it’s reaching unhealthy levels.

And it’s you recognizing your tolerance for MOAR OUTRAGE is probably higher than mine.

Does that mean you’re better at Stiggin’ it to the Man than I am?

Or that this is even a Stiggin’ it to the Man Competition, with Prizes?

By one measure, yes. You probably are better.

But I ain’t seen any prizes yet.

Because there’s always MOAR OUTRAGE.

Because no matter how often you shove a dime into the Outrage Machine, the answer to nine plus four still comes out three.

Oh me. . .