Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony ...
Some of you will recognize this. I wouldn't have a week ago. But thanks to the wonder that is Amazon Prime, I have now seen Ed Wood Jr.'s "Plan 9 from Outer Space," in all its muddled glory.
I probably do not need to see it again. It's a mess of a movie, with some gems of dialogue like what appears above, which hits you right in the face at the beginning of the film.
Then there's this:
But one thing's sure. Inspector Clay is dead, murdered, and somebody's responsible.
I appreciate the earnestness of the enterprise. Someone really wanted to tell a serious story. And the core of that story was there -- wanting humanity to stop development of bombs past the power of the hydrogen bomb, using a kind of explosive scenario that would fit right in a far more respectable science fiction movie.
But then there are the sets that consist of nothing more than curtains and radio equipment set up on wooden tables. Even on the space ships.
And the wobbly space ships bobbing around in the sky.
And the airline pilot who looked like he wanted to cry every time he was on camera.
And poor Bela Lugosi, who didn't have a single word of dialogue and spent most of the movie wandering around in his vampire cape, concealing his face as if he didn't want to appear in the film.
And someone called "Vampira," wandering around the cemetery with her claws out, doing we're not sure what.
And, inevitably, Tor Johnson.
the RiffTrax version of the film is inspired:
It is glorious. I want to see more of Wood's oeuvre.
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