Speaking of Rat Dogs . . .

NOTE: I'm calling this a found poem. It was a Facebook post this morning.

Four degrees this morning, so I took the youngest to school.

The dogs also came.

They wanted the window down on the way home.

Four degrees this morning.

The dogs REALLY wanted the window down on the way home.

To reach the window, they both have to sit on my lap.

But the window is not down. It's four degrees this morning.

There's a problem because

1. The window is not down, because it's four degrees this morning.

2. I basically have 22 pounds of weenie dog in my lap to act as an ersatz airbag if I crash on these icy roads.

3. The window is not down.

4. Sitting in the other seat is not an option because

a. Without a lap to sit on, the dogs cannot see out the window.
b. Driving from the passenger seat is really awkward.

5. THE WINDOW IS NOT DOWN.

6. Crisis barking ensues.

So I put the window down and the crisis is over.

Except it's four degrees this morning.

Yellowstone National Park, 2018 Notes

A few close-to-midnight observations about Yellowstone National Park, from a guy who just got back after a three-day visit there with a wife, three teenagers, two dogs, and a hard KOA Kampground tent site to sleep in:

1. YNP is poorly maintained. The rivers run through mud and everything.

2. Wiener dogs really hate buffalo.

3. You will think of things to say to each other, like "I wonder if my wife still has that pole up her keister? I think I'll ask her."*

4. You'll notice your son has a distinctive lolloping walk when you see him eerily appear out of nowhere at the end of a long alley at the KOA when you're sent late at night to retrieve them from the pool.

5. If you bring dogs into YNP, they'll give you instructions on where they're welcome and where they're not. And a Milk-Bone apiece, so you can either give them to your dogs or keep them in your pockets in case some guy brings a cougar to your party and it goes berserk.

6. Buffalo do not care if you need to get through the park on the last day and make it to Ashton before 10 pm so you can have dinner at Bid Jud's. They will stand in the middle of your lane of traffic and stare at the barking weenie dog in your lap.

7. Mammoth Hot Springs have seen better days.

8. When your daughter wants to take a photo of your wife to make it appear that she has antlers as you pose her in front of a skeletal bush in the middle distance, someone will walk into the frame and stand right in front of your wife and wave their camera around for (no kidding) ten minutes as they take pictures of what appear to be errant oxygen molecules.

9. Buffalo appear indifferent to whatever music you might have playing, even if it's "Hooked on a Feeling" including the opening hooga-chakas.

10. Ravens like strawberries.

11. Watching a park ranger pull out behind you just as you came out of a 45 mph zone going 60 will give you that same sinking feeling you get if it were a cop. No ticket, however. At least today.

12. You'll remember the time when a much younger version of your family was at Newberry National Monument in Oregon and startled your daughter into leaping into the air and shouting "WHERE?" when you absently mention *that* particular spot up there is likely where the lava came out, and she thought you were talking in the present.

13. It's perfectly acceptable to walk past people taking photos with cell phones, because it's about 99% likely they're taking selfies.

14. I appreciated going three days and hearing Donald Trump's name mentioned only once.

15. You know one of your dogs had a successful trip when she's flopped over in her basement bed, eyes half closed as you type, with a rawhide chewie sticking out of her mouth.

16. We passed a place called "Alum Creek." I wanted to stop and drink the water but I was afraid this would happen.

*You won't actually SAY things like this, but you'll think them.

DOG!

A photo our oldest took of our dog. I imagine it's the last view that stink bug on the porch had of the world before the dog got to it earlier today.

The Story of Dottie

Our oldest put this photo story together as he works on his Photography merit badge. Hoping that by posting it here I can avoid having to bring a thumb drive with us to the merit badge pow wow today.

DOG!

After a 2 ½ year absence, we have a dog in the house.

Nowhere near as big as Dug here, nor nowhere near as loquacious. And because she’s a puppy, she’s got that patent puppy stink about her. But she’s here and the kids couldn’t be more thrilled.

She’s a miniature dachshund, same as our previous pet Moki, who died just before Thanksgiving in 2008. Michelle, in a moment of serendipity, found her on Craigslist last week and jumped at the opportunity to get her from a couple in Roberts.

The dog is, of course, very shy right now. She did better her first night with us than I thought she would – only one episode of crying at night, and that was remedied by moving her to the bed with us, rather than in her basket. We’re hoping in the next few weeks that she’ll get to feeling more and more at home with us.

It was kind of a rough weekend, though. Our daughter especially has been pining for a dog, and she really wanted to go either to the shelter or Petco this weekend to get one. Knowing that we’d have a dog in the house before the weekend was over, we had to keep putting our daughter off the trail, so to speak, though it all fell apart Saturday morning when I foolishly pointed out a dog in the truck next to us on the road. Fortunately, all of that behavior was redeemed after church.

Here she is:

And again: