Re: That Previous Post; or, “But I’m Feeling Much Better Now”

Clearly, whatever is ailing me at the moment bubbled to the surface, viz. But thanks to Night Court, I’ve got a catchphrase that should put some reassurance into your heads, if you forget it’s coming from man recently released from a psychiatric institution:





It’s stress. I’m dealing with the stress right now. It’s part of my long-term strategy of becoming Wally. Or an early death, whichever comes first.

The source of said stress? Legion:

1. Full-time job. Remember the Big Failure from a while back?  It kind of revisited under a different form, but that, too, appears to be on the mend. And there was a drill today that I had little time to prepare for, but that’s over.

2. Part-time job. Which is what I do, or at least which is what it feels like I do, whenever I’m not at the full-time job.

3. Church. That explains the previous post quite a bit, in vague and scary terms. But I’m coming to grips with things better now, as Buddy might say. Also Liam is preparing for his mission call. We had a visit with LDS Family Services about a week ago, in which we discussed his position on the autism spectrum. I personally think he’d struggle on a teaching mission. But we’ll see where the Lord decides to send him. At least this is something completely out of my hands. Then I have my own inadequacies, to which I’m slowly getting a fix on how to fix.

4. Schedule. I’m always a bit discombobulated when the days shorten and I get a lot less sun in my eyeballs. With the passing of Daylight Saving Time, that means I’m full into the phase when I get up before the sun rises and don’t get home until after it sets. That piles on the stress.

5. Book. Doleful Creatures still calls to me. I have no idea how to fix it.

So that all kinda came to a head when that last post hit. Which is fine; it shouldn’t be all good news that comes to the surface. There are struggles that all of us go through.

Gonna Make It, Part II

First of all, remember this post.

A little bitty update:

First of all, at our company picnic today, they pretty much announced that the contract extension will be signed, though they're still saying "within the next week or so," so whether it'll be done by the time the 30th rolls around, I don't know. I'll be watching the news all atwitter this week.

Second of all, Congress is set today to vote on funding the federal government for the next six months, so the question will be how much will DOE get and how much will we get from DOE, not will DOE be on the street corner saying "Spare armadillo, ma'am? Spare armadillo?" So I could end up like Dusty Bottoms in this clip, rather than poor ol' Ned Nederlander:

Gonna Make It . . . Gonna Make It . . . Gonna . . . Make It!

The good news is, I’m no longer concerned all that much about October layoffs.

Bad news is the bad news is potentially so bad that it makes October layoffs seem like child’s play in comparison.

Example No. 1: Got a call from my boss’ boss today saying, in effect, if the contract extension between CWI and DOE isn’t signed in the next week and a half, there’s no authorization for work for any CWI contractors, of which I am one of, to quote MASH’s Radar O’Reilley.

That in of itself is bad news. No authorization to work means, technically, I still have a job but I can’t go to it and I can’t get paid because the authorization to pay me is in limbo. That’s bad. That’s like getting frogurt that’s cursed.

Example No. 2: This is where it gets really bad. Rumors are that there’s no money. Nooooo money for either the research or cleanup side of INL, because DOE’s shoving all the money it has at Hanford over in Washington state and since Congress can’t find their butts with both hands and approve a budget, there’s trouble with any new money forthcoming. This is like finding that not only is your free frogurt topping cursed, but that it also contains potassium benzoate.

I know that I, Jeffe, do not have the superior intellect and education of those folks in Washington who pay the bills, but at the same time while they’re wrangling over who to pay and how much to pay them and where the money is coming from and who they can take it from to give it to, well, me, there are lots of people like me who are starting to feel like Lucky Day these days.

Maybe it seems silly to use these movie clips to explain my frustrations. But given how much attention is being riveted on other movie clips as of late – that thing about the Muslims that we’re not really sure is the movie they’re all upset about, but hey, let’s tar and feather the guy anyway just so we can say we did something; and that thing with Mitt Romney washing his hands of the 47% or whatever (of which I happen to be one of too, thank you, Radar) – I feel like it’s the only way to get attention these days. Answer useless street theater with useless YouTube clips, and maybe – just maybe, mind you – someone will pay attention. And feel repentant. Like Professor Hinckle:

But it’s easy to pay attention to things like the Innocense of Muslims or Mitt’s 47%, because, in general, it costs the chattering class – the media – and the ruling class of politicians virtually nothing. It lets them escape from actually having to report on a government that’s kicking problems down the road – and I’m not just saying Obama’s government does this, every government does to some extent – and actually looking at the can and seeing what’s inside it, being kicked around.

Of course, anyone who criticizes mainstream media or the current (or past) administration, ends up looking like Ralphie’s Old Man in the view of those accused, so they can just go on leaving the aroma of turkey hanging in the air, not worrying that they’re going to get worms.

Of course I’m just substituting street theater for street theater. The signal to noise ratio is so high it’s impossible to get anything but pop culture through to anyone.

So Aldous Huxley was right after all.

Layoff Watch: Final Thoughts

Surprise!

Layoffs kind of ended oddly today.

We had a “stayers' meeting,” in which one of our higher-ups comes and chats a bit with those who kept their jobs. ‘Twas a good meeting, in which we got a little explanation on how subcontractors (like me) are ranked with the company employees, and how things work in general when someone has to be let go. All pretty straightforward stuff.

Then about a half hour after our meeting ended, one of the tech writers here, got a call from her employer saying her last day is Jan. 31.

That’s not all bad. She volunteered for it. So I suppose she got what she wanted; she and her boyfriend are headed to North Dakota to make their money in the oil fields.

That leaves two of us at RWMC. That could be both good and bad. They’re not quite certain how many writers they need here at RWMC, so we may find ourselves assigned part-time to other areas, as needed. Or let go in March or April or June. But it sounds like if we can make it through fiscal 2012, we ought to be safe for another three years. So here’s to keeping those fingers crossed.

Layoff Watch: Day Two

6:44 AM. Arrive at work to see lots and lots and lots of people milling about holding little packets from Human Resources. Not good.

6:47 AM. Arrive at my desk to see no one standing around waiting for me to arrive. That is good.

7:54 AM. Distracted by work (a good thing, right?) and forgot to think about this. That is also a good thing.

7:58 AM. Phone conversation with a co-worker: “It’s good to hear your voice. That means you’re still here.”

8:23 AM. Another phone conversation: “Oh, you’re here. That’s good.” And more work coming in. That’s even better.

8:25 AM. The phone calls are starting to remind me of Owen Lift from “Throw Momma From the Train”: “Mama! You’re alive! [Aside to a policeman] Old people. You have to reassure them.”

8:56 AM. A guy we work with closely just got laid off. I didn’t see him, but a co-worker did and said he was near tears. I can understand that.

9:08 AM. Advice from a co-worker also fearing the ax: “Don’t answer the phones. And hide.” Just speaking in general terms, of course. He hadn’t had any visions concerning me or anything.

9:57 AM. “All is quiet,” said the bird. “HOLY COW! A TALKING BIRD!” thought Peter.

10:52 AM. Just got the following email from my direct supervisor at North Wind (the company that subcontracts me to CWI): “Is everything still positive for you guys. Let me know if you've heard anything new.” I guess if my supervisor hasn’t heard anything, that’s good news. Unless he’s ordinarily out of the loop. This is so depressing. . .

11:31 AM. Eating a cookie.

12:49 PM. It’s quiet. Too quiet.

1:21 PM. Ugh. I’m not sure which is worse – the patina of doom that stains this week, or the fact that the heat in this building really doesn’t kick in until about 3 PM. I’m going to have to pick the doom. Though it is a chilly doom.

1:22 PM. Inevitable, this video is.

2:04 PM. Two more days of this? It’s going to drive me crazy.

2:18 PM. Unofficial reports are that we are in the clear. That would be good. The pessimist in me says to clench my buttocks at least until the close of business.

3:07 PM. Back to posting documents, since one of the guys who got it today did that for us. Not fun for him.

UPDATE: Layoffs are essentially over, and I still have a job. Thanks to all of you who prayed for me, and to all of you who paid your taxes so I can be gainfully employed. And thanks to those in DOE who suddenly realized that we were going to have to cut our work scope way too far in order to hit the budget numbers.

News from the Other Side

I know it’s been more than five years since I left the news business, but I still think about it from time to time.

This story in particular got me to thinking about the news again, because it’s a story that affects me but from the other side – I’m not the one writing the news, I’m the one impacted by it.

As is often the case, those being impacted by the news know more about it than those reporting it. I know, for example, that the number being laid off is higher than what is reported here (still crossing my fingers I’m not one of them today). So as I read the story, I see the questions that the reporter missed, and the fact that not knowing the background to the story – or at least not reporting it here – is a hindrance to the reporter’s overall performance and the accuracy of the news being reported.

In the story, CWI mentions 133 people being laid off by the end of January. But from the inside, I recognize this as CWI talk – they’re talking direct employees only, not subcontractors and direct employees. That’s why the number of employees to be laid off in my mind is higher than that being reported. CWI here is telling the truth – but the reporter isn’t digging deep enough into the story to get the full picture. Yes, they are laying off X number of their own employees, but if the reporter talked with anyone else, she’d discover there are also X number of subcontract employees already laid off or soon to be dismissed. She allows for a rosier picture than the reality, which is too bad, because for those in the know, it hurts her credibility.

I’m sure I did the same thing as a reporter. So this solidifies in my mind the commandment that Reporters Shall Know their Beats. Granted, what’s likely going on here is that there are more general assignment reporters these days than beat reporters so they don’t have the inclination to specialize. I know I didn’t, even as a gar in Rexburg. That was my specialty, but I didn’t narrow it. Somewhat with BYU-Idaho, but that was about it. So yes, on my part, mistakes were made. Ah, hindsight.

Layoff Watch: Day One

4:05 AM. This is the day. No weird layoff dreams involving Tony Randall, though I did have a repeat dream of the head lice currently making our lives an adventure chanting at me from the top of my head in the voice of Roz from Monsters, Inc.:

6:45 AM. Arrive at work. Card still works in the card reader. That is a good sign.

7:36 AM. Visibly startle when the new email chime sounds.

7:38 AM. Decide to hide in the bathroom for ten minutes to let the whole email scare thing blow over.

8 AM. That stupid song about Memphis is on the radio.

8:19 AM. A sudden upwelling of hope and relief. Don’t really know why.

8:43 AM. Return from posting documents in the ECC. Deathly quiet over in the OCB, but then again it’s been that way since the Great Confusion began just over a month ago. No one waiting at my desk for me when I get back. Relief.

8:44 AM. Eavesdropping on phone conversation concerning engineering group and layoffs. Speculation is that since subs were already let go, no CWI personnel will be impacted. As a sub, indignant at throwaway implication. But as a sub, also pleased to still be here. Seriously, though, SCC mentality exists here in full.

8:47 AM. If you ever get the feeling that I’m wasting too much time on this Layoff Watch, well, put yourself in my shoes. But right now, back to work!

8:50 AM. Eavesdropped phone conversation has now drifted on (ha!) to an impending blizzard heading our way. Must remind myself to batten down what hatches lay unbattened, and pat myself on the back for moving the camper to Grampa’s over the weekend.

9:24 AM. Return from second bathroom break of the day. As an old man, it’s my right to pee. A lot.

10:05 AM. Upwelling of hope and relief at 8:19 AM reinforced. For some reason. Maybe all those prayers that have been said. Many prayers. Was afraid that God was just going to say “Bust Everybody!” Just joking, of course.

10:23 AM. Heavy footfalls in the hallway make me cringe. But it’s just one of the analytical lab guys. Fears fading. CWI likes to do its layoffs in the AM.

10:32 AM. Looming blizzard is becoming much more of a worry than layoffs at this point. Another good sign.

10:57 AM. Heart attack. Phone call from an unknown number. Turned out to be from AMWTP concerning a document we’re working on. Heart may start beating again in a few minutes.

11:05 AM. Following conversation in the OCB while delivering documents:

Jerome Starks (SOM): Hey Brian, how’s it goin’?

Me: Pretty good.

Jerome: Yeah. We’re here.

Me: Yes, sir!

Also, a lab employee congratulated me for still being here in the cafeteria. Have to assume she’s talking about “here” as in having a job, not “here,” as in the cafeteria.

Life is good.

11:52 AM. Like Deccan Riobe from Terry Pratchett’s “Moving Pictures,” this is turning more into a chronology of my bathroom breaks. But I’m STILL HERE using the bathroom.

11:53 AM. Footsteps coming. And going.

1:05 PM. Another phone conversation. Periodic talk of layoffs. Nothing concrete. Nerves take a momentary jangle. It is eerily quiet here, though.

1:16 PM. Still eerie.

1:29 PM. Anxiety up a little. Rumor (damn them) has it that layoffs at the facilities will be spread through the week, rather than one day, one facility. That would break tradition from the past. Whistling past the graveyard.

1:34 PM. Boss says layoffs will continue throughout the week, and he got that from one of the higher-ups. So three more days of anxiety here. Not looking forward to that. Might reconsider hiding under my desk.

2:11 PM. Thought: Maybe less anxiety. There are many CWI complexes; they’ll work one a day, as was said earlier. Could still be some personnel shuffling, but if the ax doesn’t fall on RWMC’s day – today – chances of staying increase. So back to that roller-coaster euphoria. Wheeeeeee!

2:13 PM. Again, corporate communication is key. But they laid off one of the professional corporate communicators last week. So it goes.

2:15 PM. More slow, heavy footsteps. Another analytical lab employee. May have to get them bells.

2:37 PM. Vadinho on layoffs: “Don’t let them net me.”

3:01 PM. Trying in vain to overhear muffled layoff-related phone conversation involving my co-worker who last week said, among other things, “Well, you don’t have a mortgage right now, do you?” and “I hope you stay, because I don’t want to be here alone. We need two writers. [Long pause.] But, of course it could be me who goes . . .”

3:04 PM. Of course, I’m no better. Hearing that others have been laid off at RWMC today, my only thoughts: Well, they didn’t come get me. Selfish bit of scum that I am.

3:39 PM. During my fourth potty break of the day, I decided that if they come to lay me off, they’re going to have to chase me first. That’ll give me time to . . .

4:53 PM. Caught up in a document review (yay work!). Forgot to be stressed out about layoffs. Thus ends Layoff Watch Day One.

Brown Alert! Brown Alert! Evacuate the Lower Chambers!

So we got a heartening, yet nerve-wracking memo from the higher-ups this week, viz:

I would like to update you on recent project changes. Based on competing funding demands in 2012, we received DOE direction to suspend work in some project areas. The suspension of work has resulted in reductions of force account personnel who were supporting work scope at the Radioactive Waste Management Complex and will affect workforce restructuring activities planned in January.

CWI has provided a preliminary impact analysis to DOE; however, final impacts have not yet been determined.  I continue to work with DOE, the Idaho delegation, and others to find additional funding.  I have meetings planned this week and next.  I remain hopeful that our advocates will find supplemental funds that will allow us to continue the safe, efficient, quality cleanup work we have delivered over the past several years.

Again, I ask you not to speculate. We will not know the number of individuals who will be impacted by workforce restructuring until all meetings are held and work and staffing plans are finalized.

Remain diligent in your safety focus. I will update you as soon as new information is available.

In other words, clench your buttocks, folks.

I played hooky from work today so I could finish up the last details on our kitchen floor remodel, so I don't know what happened -- or didn't happen -- out at work today. I can assume that any bad news would filter through rather quickly, but then again you never really do know about bad news, do you? (My shaky theory is if I stay away from work for a while, they can't lay me off because technically I'm not there to get that little tap on the shoulder. Of course, this isn't a sustainable theory. Nor a very good one.)

On another front, I'm going to call a fellah tomorrow who might be able to help me get another job with another company. We'll see what happens. Details on that under wraps until, of course, I have something solid to report.

Until then: Brown Alert! Brown Alert!

 

Don't Worry, Just Wet Your Pants

As is typical with cases like this, the time to worry has passed. It may indeed be time to panic.

But a rational panic. A pro-active panic. A Don’t-Worry-Be-Happy Panic.

Or at least a Bobby McFerrin-Falls-Down-the-Stairs Panic.

The chances that I’ll be unemployed in the next few weeks continue to soar. Just found out today (because I asked someone about the sudden lack of activity, not because anyone’s actually communicating) that we’ve got a $20 million budget shortfall going into the year and to make up for it the powers that be are pretty much considering scuttling any of our current workscope, at least at ARP. The money suck-hole that is IWTU will still get fundage because we’re contractually obliged to get that work done by the end of the year while at ARP, since we’re ahead of schedule and under budget we’ll be penalized since the scope of work under our current contract is completed.

I’m trying not to be bitter about this situation, but it is kind of comical in a way. As one of our engineers said today, it’s like we’re being congratulated for being ahead and under budget by losing our jobs. And with the layoff of some of our design engineers yesterday, it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that most of the rumors that we’re hearing are going to come true and as the ol’ lady in “Ernest Scared Stupid” says, ‘Them that dies will be the lucky ones.’

And then again it may all go away and the rumors we’re hearing of a 600-body layoff mid-January may not come to pass. Then again, maybe it will.

So HELLLLLLLLLLP!

Count Your Blessings: One, Two, Now I'm Done . . .

 Not appreciated for what I know.

Spent a good portion of the day feeling sorry for myself.

Found out today, for example, that I won't be considered for a job I applied for at BYU-Idaho, nor was I picked for a job at AMWTP. Kind of a double-whammy on a day when I'm already feeling a bit down and nervous because the company I work for is laying off technical writers in January.

How did Dad do it, I wondered. Then the thought came to me: Like he always did: Head down and hands busy.

I know he went through a bad patch when I was a kid, because suddenly he was gone a lot, laying brick in the likes of Nevada and California because there were few to lay in our own neck of the woods. He also played with driving a truck for a living, but quickly found out he didn't much like that. Yet we always had money in the house. I don't know how much, because as a kid you never get told these things. You hear whispered conversations and overhear things and sometimes pick up on the worry, but Mom and Dad just turn around and say, "We're just discussing things, and you figure, well, if they're talking about it, they're talking about it so we must be doing OK." They never tell you because they don't want you to worry, not that you're really smart or aware enough to worry anyway.

So I guess what happens happens. That's what God keeps telling me. Also keeps reminding me that my patriarchal blessing says I'll always be able to provide for my wife and family. That's of some comfort. But I guess I need to bolster my faith.

[Gulp]

So, it may be that after nearly six years at the RWMC, the fat lady is singing.

CWI, our main company here, announced today that up to 600 employees will likely be laid off next year, starting with at least 200 in January and June of next year.

That’s par for the course. But this time around, technical writers are on the list of targeted work discipline codes.

Don’t know what my chances are of staying on. I’m feeling numb about it right now. In this economy, I do not want to be looking for another job. Scares the hell out of me, to tell you the truth.

I know losing a job does not the end of the world make. But it sure feels like it. That stint of underemployment between 2005 and 2006 really wore me out. Yes, I had work. Yes, we were able to pay the bills. But hells bells, it was not the most pleasant part of my life and I do not, repeat, DO NOT, want to repeat it.

So what to do?

Pray, first of all, that though technical writers are on the list for January that I get to keep my job. I have fulfilled some valuable roles here at RWMC since Danny left (temporarily) to IWTU, but I don’t know if that kind of thing will be evaluated when the bean counters do their counting. I am a subcontractor after all, subject to the whim of the main employer.

Second, continue looking for alternatives. Found a job today to apply for with the Idaho Department of Fish and Game. Maybe other recent events are preparing us for a move in physical location as well as from job to job.

Keep pushing my foot in the door at BYU-Idaho, third. Teaching there has been a blessing, and it could be a godsend if the right opportunity opens up. Chances there are bleak, however, as many people apply for the vacant positions there.

Fourth: Retire to that poker shed in the swamp.

Fifth, breathe through my nose and relax a little. We still have plenty of work scope to accomplish at RWMC. Two more waste tents, plus the shutdown afterward. I probably shouldn’t get too paranoid right now.

That won’t stop me, however, from going through at least one through three a few more times between now and January 2012.

Stay tuned.

Eek

Got one of those good news/bad news announcements from my employer today, one that’s going to shape our future for the next little while.

Nuclear Placement Services, the company I’ve worked for over the last five years, is going to shutter at the end of the month. The guy who founded it is retiring, and has decided just to close the company, rather than pass it on or sell it or whatever. That in of itself doesn’t surprise me, as it’s not the biggest company in the world. I have no complaints about working for them. They’ve treated me well.

So what does that mean for the future? Well, as of Sept. 30, NPS is shuttered. We (there are four contracted employees for CWI) have the option of either going with North Wind (the company with whom NPS has the contract) or with another similar company doing work with CWI. I’m taking the simpler North Wind route, as one of my co-workers, Bill Leach, works for North Wind and speaks highly of them. I don’t know what all has to take place to get this contract transfer done, but I’ll know more when I get the human resources contact information for North Wind and communicate with them.

Bad news, of course, as it’s never pleasant to make this kind of move, especially as quickly as this. Good news, though, because as an employee of North Wind, it appears I’ll get some health and retirement benefits. We’ll have to see what happens there, but I’m optimistic that things will go good with making the move. That is if North Wind wants me, But why wouldn’t they want me? I’m terrific. Right?

A Steady Paycheck . . .

I’m beginning to feel like Winstone Zeddimore from “Ghostbusters” when he said “As long as there’s a steady paycheck, I’ll believe anything you say,” when Janine rattles of the long list of oddball things he might or might not believe (astral projection, the Loch Ness Monster and the theory of Atlantis, et al).

Layoff day at RWMC. Our document control specialist bought the farm, leaving us now without document control support or word processing support at RWMC. And maybe that’s partially our fault – they saw how we handled being without a word processor for so long they figure we can now post our own documents and rely on other doc control folks for the tasks we can’t perform. Laying off tech writers is only just around the corner. I have GOT to find a new job before September.

I put feelers out. Not lots of feelers – I suppose I’ve still got my head buried in the sand to some point on this matter – but some. High hopes that the Space Dynamics Laboratory down in Logan will call me for an interview and then offer me a job and then keep the headcount and money on their books but transfer the work to another unit so I still get paid but I’m not allowed to do work.

And while I’m at it, I may as well get my novel published and then flap my arms and fly to the moon.

And, thankfully, there are comics I can use to illustrate this situation.

Other things causing stress at the moment, if you care to listen:

• Must find new health insurance by June 28. Current provider wants more money per month than what we’re paying for the home mortgage
• Behind in grading for FDENG 101. Have done some today. Need to do much, much more
• Dog is still an ankle-biting little weasel. Terrorized the daughter while playing backyard baseball yesterday
• Still fat
• But not grossly so, in case potential health insurers are reading this
• Cows got out during the last Super Bowl
• Lots of little, tiny dog poops in the back yard
• Need to replace deck, concrete under deck, house siding, kitchen, brake pads, brake lining, and a little wiring. Good thing the house only cost $4,800
• Also shocks
• Out of Twinkies, even the big ones
• Reliant too much on movie quotes from the 1980s
• Far too old to squish pinecones and pineapples together any more

Interview Help from "The Office"

You know, I'm hoping to have a job interview in the next few weeks, so probably watching this episode isn't going to help things. Unless, of course, I can learn from these good bad examples.

I Feel Your Pain, Ted

A long time ago when I was near to finishing my bachelor's degree, I remember hearing -- and experiencing -- the common almost-grad lament:

All the jobs I see want me to have experience I can't get until I get a job.

That caused a lot of frustration way back when in the fuzzy, cocoon-like world of the mid- to late-1990s, when the economy was robust and companies and government were offering all kinds of opportunities for just the right person.

Years later, I'd like to go back in time to my almost-grad self to deliver the following message:

It gets worse.

I have, right now, a pretty good job. I'd like a better one. But in cracking into the current job market of the early 2000s, when the economy is in the crapper and companies and government are keeping hires to a minimum, the challenges even in getting an interview are astronomical.

Used under the fair use doctrine for commentary purposes.

The bar is continually raised. I'm not complaining about that. I realize that I can't expect to experience a career in stasis: I have to continue educating myself and working to make myself more marketable to employers. Still, there is some frustration. I have earned a masters degree. I have taken that degree and parleyed it into a part-time teaching gig at BYU-Idaho -- but until I actually get a class to teach and am invited back, that entry on my resume is going to bear that asterisk.

Meanwhile, employers knowing that there are a lot more people out there looking for jobs, are able to be a bit pickier. I'm not complaining about that either. Obviously, an employer wants the best-qualified person for the job.

Still, it's frustrating. With every accomplishment I find others that still need to be finished before the next career step may be taken. And I suppose that's just a lesson on life: Never stop learning, because the expectations will always increase.

Degreed, Yet Unqualified

A few months ago, I looked into what it would take to get a bachelors degree in web design, programming, or some other such subject at a local university.

I already have a bachelors degree, albeit in journalism and mass communication, with a minor in French. Just over a year ago, I earned a masters degree in English with an emphasis on technical writing.

Yet when I look at the jobs available today, or potentially available in the future, I feel woefully undereducated.

The local university does offer the degree program I’m interested in. Just not in a form I can handle right now. Physically, I’d have to be in class. However, to keep my family physically in a house, I have to have a job that physically keeps me far away from the classroom as it possibly can. Literally. I work roughly 84 miles, or about two hours, from home, as the bus drives. My daily commute:

View Larger Map

I did talk with one of the professors in the program, who tells me that in a few more years, they may be ready to offer the degree entirely online. That’s well and good, but by them I’ll probably be living in a cardboard box. Or dead. You never know.

We got introductions to XML, HTML and other such stuff in my masters courses, but not to the degree to which I could claim even a beginner’s knowledge of the stuff. I need it, obviously. Doing without it is only going to hurt me in the long run. I should look into night classes, so I can spend even more time away from the family (I work four ten-hour shifts a week, putting me on the bus at 5 am and putting me home shortly after 7 pm, Monday through Thursday).

It’s just a frustrating position to be in. I know life is supposed to be a long adventure of learning, but I feel like I’m running to keep up and the bus just keeps pulling away faster and faster.

Other options are even more daunting. It’s becoming more clear to me that a doctorate is probably in order. But to do that, I’ve got to move the family to Logan, Utah, and figure out a way to work full-time and be a student full-time because otherwise it ain’t gonna happen. I’m pushing 40 years old. I know it’s a competitive economy, but I half wonder if and when I get that doctorate is the bar going to be going higher, higher, and higher?

Yet I know I’m a lucky guy. I’ve had a job through a rough economy, a job I got before the economy tanked, thank heaven, because I’m certain had I been in my former industry I would have been out on my rump anyway. I have faith that God will support me as I work to support my family. Still, it’s a daunting future we face.

DRILL!

 

Don't know the status of this one, but here's where I found it.

You know you’ve got a pretty good job when the biggest part of your anxiety and job stress stems not from the work they hired you to do, but from some of the volunteer work you got roped into doing after they hired you.

Today was such a day.

I work at the RWMC – the Radioactive Waste Management Complex – part of the Idaho National Laboratory, as a technical writer. I write procedures and other documents used to handle radioactive waste and to track the fire protection program at RWMC. Thoug at times this job can be a stresser, it’s 99 percent the good kind of stress, the kind of stress that makes me function well. I love my job.

Then there’s the volunteer stuff.

I’m part of one emergency response team. When there’s an accident or incident at work, we respond as a team to coordinate everything from notifying local sheriffs departments to working with the INL Fire Department and other internal organizations to handle toe emergency event.

I’m what’s called a notification specialist – I’m basically the bridge between the team and the INL’s communications center. When we classify emergencies, it’s my job to notify the comm center as quickly as possible so they can do their notifications. That all has to take place within 15 minutes. I had to do two of those notifications today during our drill, one right on top of the other.

And I did it.

Felt good. Felt great. Of course, I went over the steps in my mind the night before, and then again on the bus coming to work today. Also brought the Lord in on it, and I feel that with the practice I put in mentally preparing myself for the job, we got it done. Glad it’s over. Glad it's over especially because each time I'm involved in a drill, I remember something Homer Simpson said about safety:

“Our safety is in the hands of people no brighter than you or I. Some of them, incompetent boobs!”

I know precisely well where I fit on the “incompetent boob” scale.

No one who works on these emergency response teams gets anything for it other than the occasional safety vest – I’ve got two now, one orange, the other purple. I’m very well-dressed for drills. The only ways out of these positions are either a job transfer that takes you away from RWMC or – and this is only half a joke – death. I’ve thought a few times it would be rather nice to get out of the position, but then I think it’s something else I can put on a resume and makes me just a teence more valuable to the company. Though that value is a relative thing.

That’s the major point of stress I have at work – the drills. So I’m hopeful I can keep working here for a long time.

(Tactful) Tech Writer for Hire

How exactly do you approach a company and tell them their documentation sucks?

I have to figure out how to do this nicely and professionally, because there is indeed a nationally-recognized company based in Rexburg that I want to approach to offer my contract services as a technical writer. They have proof on their website that they have someone who can type, but not someone who can actually design documents that don’t make them look foolish.

I’m going to start with a fellow I know, a local man-about-town, or at least a man-about-the-business-community, who may know someone who knows someone who works in a higher capacity for the company, to whom I can present my offerings.

And I need to say our offerings, because I’m probably going to drag Michelle into this as well. Together, I think we make a pretty good team. I don’t mind talking to any Tom, Dick, or Harry, nor going onto the site to get a feel for what is needed, documentation-wise. And Michelle is aces with InDesign and making things look absolutely right. We’ve both got the editing and writing credentials to start our own business: I’ve been in journalism for ten years, technical writing in five; I’ve got a masters degree in technical writing. She, meanwhile, designed award-winning yearbook pages for Sugar-Salem High School, has edited one manual for Madison Memorial Hospital and is in the same masters program I finished just over a year ago.

One of the ideas I’m pondering is this: This company in particular offers their manuals publicly – to their clients, ostensibly – on their web page. They’re in a format that is easily downloadable, cut-and-pastable; a format we could easily take and use to recreate the manual but in a manner that makes it look as if it were designed, not merely pooped out on the slab of Microsoft Office. But do I dare take one of their manuals, re-write it and re-design it on spec, then take it to them under fear that they’ll flip out that we, a non-customer, have got and modified one of their manuals without their express knowledge? Even if the first manual were done on spec, and offered to the company at a discount price, that seems like a risky avenue to take. So it’s back to the man-about-town idea.

Another problem is this: There’s definitely a good ol’ boy vibe afloat in this town, and I’m fairly certain it infects this company in particular. I’m hesitant to approach them as an uppity outsider without knowing a bit more about the people behind the corporate voodoo masks. Again, that’s maybe an assignment for the man-about-town. He’s beginning to loom larger in my perspective.

Also is this: We ought to offer a grant-writing service, but to do that we need to write a successful grant. That would help us expand the business’ offerings, especially in an area where few if any school districts (offhand, I can think of two) who have dedicated grant writers on staff. So the ball is rolling on that. Just sent the preliminary letters to our local school district today. Hopefully, 2011 will bring some success on that front.

"Can Yuh Float?"

We're in full swing at work now, in the final stages of getting our end of the paperwork ready to open up a new waste processing facility. This is the third one I've been involved in, and it feels pretty good. I like the work. It's a challenge and, even when some of the guys tease me because I don't get mad when last-minute changes come up, I like it. I remind them that fire years ago I was stocking shelves at Target and answering phone calls at Center Partners. Even with the headache of last-minute changes, the place where I work now is paradise.

Now just have to make is through the next year. Layoffs. Up to 700 people gone. Not going to be fun.

But through it all, the only thing that comes to mind is Ed Norton from the Honeymooners.

Whenever I have job stress, I think of this episode, when Ralph comes home after nine years of loyal service to the Gotham Bus Company believing he's been fired. He sits down and dictates a nasty letter to his boss to Norton, who is inspired to say to Ralph that me might be able to get him a job in the sewers. "All ya gotta do is pass the test," Norton says. "What test?" Ralph asks. "Can yuh float?" Norton responds.

So I remind myself: I can float. I did it in 2005-06 when I was working at Target and CP. I didn't much like it, but I floated. Kept money coming into the house. And we got through it. So thanks, Ralph and Ed. I appreciate your help.

The best lines:

After Ralph spends a good minute complaining about all the rotten stuff he's had to do at work, working Sundays, holidays, filling in for sick drivers, Alice tells him to relax. "You'll get another job," she says. Ralph's response is akin to what I think now: "I'll get another job, sure, but not a good one like this one!"

Then, when Ed is trying to cheer Ralph up by making him smile, bigger, bigger and bigger, until Ed says: "That's the way I wanna see ya! Even if it takes a year to get a job! Even if you never get a job!" Ralph, of course, tells him to shut up.

They go on to my favorite part in any Honeymooners episode. Ed is inspired to offer helping Ralph to get a job:

"Don't take it rough, eh? Maybe I can get a job for you with me over in the sewer! All ya gotta do is pass the test."

"What test?"

"Can yuh float?"

A-Hunting I Will Go

It’s official. I’m job-hunting.

Not that I haven’t been job-hunting prior to this announcement when in fact I have been job-hunting for quite some time now.

It’s not that I’m unhappy at my current job. I’m not. I love the work, I like the people I work with, and I love that I’m on a schedule that gives me Fridays off.

It’s just that, in the next two years, the company is going to shed between 700 and 1,000 people. It’s just that I’m a subcontractor, and the company has made it clear that unless subcontractors can poop golden eggs for the company, we’ll be the first to go, and without the little tinfoil handshake the company folks are getting.

Why are they laying people off? Some work is done, the contract is up in 2012 and they’re a business, not a social welfare agency. I understand that. I remain bitter (a bit) about the go-go attitude the company has whenever we have meetings – Hey! Everybody’s getting bonuses! Everyone’s getting safety money because of the safe way we’re doing our work safely! Except for subconctractors who, of course, contribute to the work and the overall safe safetyness but don’t get the bonuses because, well, you’re not really company employees are you? Yeah. I get the concept.

So if you know of anyone out there looking to hire a slightly cynical and pessimistic writer with ten years’ experience in journalism and five in technical writing, let me know. I’ve got a BA in journalism and mass communication and a MS in English with an emphasis on technical writing.

I am doing what I can, of course. Just signed a contract yesterday to teach a foundations English class at BYU-Idaho starting in January – providing they have enough takers and can fill my slot this time around. I’m also researching (slowly) grant opportunities for the local school district in the hopes of adding successful grant writing to my resume. And I’m signing up as a technical/creative writer at oDesk, to see if I can get into the freelance biz which is just as crowded as Homer Simpson made the jeans market out to be when Marge became a cop. And I’ve got that fantasy novel manuscript. I need to start writing and sending out some query letters. And the work at Uncharted continues unabated.

Incredibly as well I’m going to take on a positive attitude in all this. Layoffs don’t start until January, so we’ve got at least two months in which there are no real pressures. And we’ll see what happens then. Three rounds of layoffs in 2011. Pity is that if I can hang on until the end of May, I’ll get another 40 hours of vacation time from my employer. We’ll see what happens.

Maybe it'll be easier just to kill da wabbit.

And it doesn’t even bother me that potential employers might stumble across this blog and read my little bitterness here – because, outshining the bitterness, I hope, is a person working hard to cope with what life dishes out in a way that keeps bread on the table and a roof over our heads. Take that, Karl Marx.