Here is today’s installment of Things I Find in Books.
What is this new blog feature, pray tell? Well, I buy a lot
of used books. Mostly form local thrift stores, though lately I’ve pared down
my purchases because life has shifted in a way that I’m not able to visit
thrift stores as often as I would like, and often when I’m there, I don’t find
much I’m interested in.
It was better pickings when the Salvation Army Thrift Store
was open. It’s now demolished and is home to a parking lot for a BMW dealership.
Alas.
Nevertheless, I often find interesting things in the books I
find, things previous owners have used as bookmarks.
So far, no money. That’s my dream, of course. Though this
other stuff is neat.
Today’s entry is this, front and back of an emergency survival
card produced by the Utah Department of Fish and Game, found in a 1947 Blue
Ribbon Books reprint of Ogden Nash’s “Good Intentions”.
Emergency signals haven’t changed much since this card was
printed – alas, without a year to identify it.
I suspect one of the numbers on the card is a phone number –
the 563 prefix is used locally both in Idaho and Utah, where the book likely
came from. I don’t have the guts to call it, because what do you say? I found
your number on a Fish and Game card in an old book? So that’s not going to
happen.
Also, if the number sequence after the word “aquarium” is a
phone number, it’s not one currently linked to any aquarium I can find.
But the card has provided space for mathematics or
memory-savers on many occasions, given the different types of ink used, and, I
think, different handwriting as well.
This is one of those books I've read quite a few times and discover something new each time I read it. (I guess in that way I'm like Beetlejuice and "The Exorcist.")
I think what I appreciated the most this time around is how Kaufman uses "found" writing to put this novel together. It's cleverly done, with the student essays, school circulars, memos, letters and other stuff never getting in the way of the plot, and with Kaufman using each different type of writing to move the plot along in a different way. She uses it to great effect to keep you reading, and to keep you guessing as to what's going to happen next. It's probably about the best I've read in the "found novel" genre, if that's such a thing. it's the kind of novel a writer gets to write once, and Kaufman does it well.
This weekend, I had what I’m going to call an Alexa moment.
I wanted Alexa, that voice-recognizing, music-playing
wonder, to regale me with Sergio Mendes’ “Mas Que Nada” because Alexa is my
musical slave and we’re paying $149 for Amazon Prime Music and I’ll be damned
if I’m going to waste it.
Alexa, however, had difficulty digesting my request,
responding to my “Alexa, play ‘Mas Que Nada’” with the “I can’t understand your
question” response.
“Alexa, learn Portugese,” I said sarcastically.
“I have located a lingerie store nearby,” she beamed. “In
Idaho Falls. It closes in four minutes .
. .”
My kids giggled uncontrollably while I shouted over them:
“Alexa, play ‘The Girl from Ipanema,’ and don’t embarrass me again.”
Alexa obliged.
I could end the story right there, echoing what Alexa
O’Brien writes today in The New York Times (and in case you’re wondering, yes
she does complain about Amazon appropriating her name for its devices):
“Amazon’s promise is that Alexia is ‘always getting
smarter.’ Through big data collection and analytics, she will come to know us
in ways we can’t even know ourselves. My worry is that she will make this Alexa
dumber. The platform offers endless choices, virtual connections and access to
a world of information, but that this major-domo of the ‘internet of things’
may deliver is reductive banter, mindless consumerism and a universe of
trivia.”
To quote Brent Spiner’s character Bob Wheeler from the 1980s
sitcom “Night Court,” “What a buncha Gloomy Gusses.”
Alexa is not making my family dumber, lingerie-salesmanship
aside.
She’s encouraging us to learn things – I will forever
remember it’s Sergio Mendes who is responsible for Mas Que Nada, thanks to this
foul-up, because I looked it up afterward to make sure I had the right song in
mind. And I didn’t ask Alexa to do it, figuring I’d let the fingers to the
walking.
She’s encouraging us to think. Our youngest, an NFL football
nut, was brought to tears by Alexa’s inability to offer him NFL scores shortly
after we invited five Echo Dots into the house after Christmas until he learned
that with Alexa, often rephrasing a question can get results. Now, if Alexa is
stymied by a request, he carefully considers how to rephrase his question –
sometimes even writing it out longhand – before he asks. And when he gets
results, he remembers how to ask so in the future, asking Alexa is easier.
Maybe this’ll translate into better communication skills overall as we point
out to him that often, with human beings, you have to rephrase your questions
in order for others to understand you.
Alexa is helping our family expand our musical interests.
Time spent huddling around a screen listening to the likes of Frank Sinatra,
Perry Como, Ethel Merman and Eddie Arnold can now be spent in other rooms of
the house, free of a screen, as they work on homework, we play a game, or we
drift off to sleep. My wife has discovered the joy of Glenn Gould playing Bach.
I’ve discovered the joys of Pentatonix. And thanks to Alexa’s timing feature
which will shut off music after a given time, we no longer have to brave dark,
LEGO-infested bedrooms to turn off radios (isn’t that quaint) whose buttons are
in different places model to model and difficult to find in the dark.
And there’s a lot out there to discover. “I have to re-think,”
my wife has said on more than one occasion, “into not having Alexa play what I
know, but finding out what Alexa can play for me.” There’s a lot out there,
always expanding the breadth (and possibly the depth) of our listening
pleasure, though I have to take Amazon Prime music for having a limited
repertoire from the likes of Tak Shindo and Bill Anderson (my musical tastes
are pretty peculiar; a favorite wake-up song is “Chicken Fat” sung by Robert
Preston).
I’m now wishing Alexa had the ability to turn off lights if
I ask her to do so. (If I’m willing to pay the money for smart switches, indeed
she can. But I’m not there yet; the cost benefit of having Alexa turn off my
bedroom light every night at the sound of my voice isn’t at the $60 for the
switch threshold.)
O’Brien seems concerned, oddly, that we’re being rude to
Alexa somehow, and – again, somehow – that rudeness is, well, rude. She doesn’t
explain it well. Here it is, in toto:
And Alexa may not be the only one adapting. We talk to Alexa
in the peremptory tone we reserve for barking at chat bots, snarkily dismissing
interlopers in our social media feeds, or frustratedly answering staccato
telephone menu trees. People do not talk to their dog the way they speak to
Alexa.
Not that I want a HAL-9000 AI talking to me – or
listening in, waiting for just the right moment to tell my our household AE-35
Unit is about to go kerflooey – but I find O’Brien’s “rude talk problem”
amusing. If you think talking rude to Alexa is a problem, then soften your
talk, you hard-bitten East Coaster. Maybe Flyover Country is having more fun and
learning more with Alexa than you’d like to think. At least we will be, once I
get back from the lingerie store.
Apparently, fiction books featuring recipes is a thing. I
don’t know why it’s a thing, but it’s a thing.
That set me to thinking: What kind of recipes would I
include in Doleful Creatures?
Aloysisus’ Stream Trout
Go down to stream. Catch trout. Eat trout.
And so on. I don’t see much future in putting recipes in
books about anthropomorphic animals.
That caused me to wonder: Who was the first to put a recipe
in a fiction book? And why would you do such a thing?
Answers are elusive.
Apparently, Patricia Cornwell has a pork chop gravy recipe
folks are lending her book out to get.
I can see doing so if your book – or a character – really
focuses on food. But just to slap one into a book? I don’t know. I see a lot of
mystery books, for some reason, shouting “With Recipes!” or "Recipes Included!" (Always with the exclamation mark; always a bad sign) on the cover. I have
to wonder if the books, let alone the food, are any good.
Or it’s like any other kind of hooptedoodle – great if it’s
good, but simply in the way if it’s awful. And that probably has to do a lot
more with the book and story than with the recipe.
Then again, there are probably recipes out there better than
my books. So I should probably just shut up.
I’ve spent some enlightening time reading (PDF) the “Background to
Assessing Russian Activities and Intentions in Recent US Elections: The
Analytic Process and Cyber Incident Attribution” that made a lot of noise over
the weekend, adding fuel to the fire that the 2016 election is “tainted” and
ought to go into “do over” status.
Which I kind of, in a perverse contrarian way, hope would
happen. Because I’m fairly certain we’d see “President-Elect Trump” change to
“President-Elect . . . Trump”.
On what do I base that prediction? Absolutely nothing.
Nothing other than a firm belief that those who favor Trump would double down
on their votes while those who favor Clinton would double down on their votes,
leaving the rest of us who either did not vote or chose to vote for independent
candidates the same catch-22 we had before the do-over: Do we choose the
iocane-laced cup in front of us, or the iocane-laced cup in front of the Man in
Black? Oh, we might see a little swing here and there. But the general outcome
I don’t think would change a bit.
And here’s the kicker: I’d support a do-over, if it were
done on a short schedule, say no more than a week. (This to avoid the chances
of any more Russian influence-peddling. And influence-peddling by the parties,
candidates, journalists, et al. Because we already know enough about Mrs.
Clinton and Mr. Trump we don’t need any more electioneering.) And I would pity
the folks in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania, no matter what time
schedule the do-over would take.
The do-over would also have to include ANY candidate who
earned votes in the November election. A do-over including only Clinton and
Trump would, in my mind, be as “tainted” an election as the one the taint is
all about in the first place.
I’d even go as far as to support a week-long Internet blackout
before the do-over, in order to ensure the scourge of “fake news” would be
checked. Zot me now with your lightning bolts of righteous indignation. But if
you want an untained election, you have to remove every possible avenue of
taint, and given the proclivity of fake news on the Internet, an internet
blackout would indeed remove about 90% of the taint.
But here’s the rub, getting back to the report: There’s
little new here as far as the election goes. There’s Wikileaks and the DNC and
propaganda on Russia Today (RT) and Sputnik. But other than the boogeyman of a
foreign power trying to influence voters by discrediting one candidate over
another, there’s little by way of relevatory matter in the report.
Here’s what’s more interesting about the intelligence
report: Do you support, say, anti-fracking efforts or Occupy Wall Street? So do
those self-same meddling Russians.
Not for the same reasons, of course. And here we get the
Myrna Minkoff Effect once again: It’s the right message, from the wrong people.
Why would the Russians oppose fracking in the United States?
Because their petroleum industry suffered greatly as oil prices plummeted due
in part to fracking in the United States and Canada.
Why would the Russians promote Occupy Wall Street? Because
railing against corporatism and influence-peddling by corporations in politics
fits right in with their world view of the United States as an anti-democratic
la-la land where money influences everything above all else – and if they can
show that to their own people, their own people become less inured to the fact
that Russia is also an anti-democratic la-la land where money influences
everything above all else.
So get upset about their election-meddling, even if their
election-meddling was on par with that of western journalists (again, the right
message from the wrong people) who found plenty to fault Clinton for before
Wikileaks even happened (and I don’t mean BENGHAZI!!!1!!!!11!).
Here's a challenge: Can anyone out there point me to American media reporting on the “other”
in the hacking report – I mean anything other than the election?
Because it seems just as important that Russia is trying to undermine democracy
by talking about fracking, Occupy Wall Street, racial tensions, etc., but I haven’t found any
major media outlet discussing that. All everyone wants to talk about is the election -- as if having someone else in the White House will make all these other problems go away. I think it's clear, given the last two occupants of the White House, that problems will keep on coming no matter whose desk they land on.
Will the president-elect exacerbate these problems? Maybe. Maybe not. I'd be willing to give Clinton as much of the benefit of the doubt I'll offer to Trump. Interpret that as you may.
I now have to go into a long list of qualifiers: I am not a
Trump supporter. I did not vote for him in November, nor in the preceding
primary. Given the chance for a do-over election, I again would not vote for
him. (Conversely, I would not vote for Clinton either. I’d be one of those
third-party voters who would again vote for a third-party candidate (again, one
of the targets of Russian meddling was indeed the third-party voter, so in that
way I am also a victim of meddling, albeit a victim whose eyes are open).
Neither the Trump nor the Clinton camps have behaved in a way that would
convince me to change my vote, especially with the Democrats grabbing at any
tiny straw held out to them to delegitimize the vote (and who is to say those
straws aren’t being offered by those same damn meddling Russians?
Indy and Harry
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Here at the End of All Things
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And another book blog is complete.
Oh, Louis Untermeyer includes a final collection of little bits -- several
pages of insults -- but they're nothing I hav...
Here at the End of All Things
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I’ve pondered this entry for a while now. Thought about recapping my
favorite Cokesbury Party Blog moments. Holding a contest to see which book
to roast he...
J. Golden Kimball, the Story of A Unique Personality, by Claude Richards. 398 pages.
Joseph Smith Rough Stone Rolling, by Richard Lyman Bushman. 740 pages.
Read in 2026
Al Capone does my Homework, by Gennifer Choldenko. 214 pages.
Americans at War, by Stephen Ambrose. 252 pages.
Astoria: John Jacob Astor and Thomas Jefferson's Lost Pacific Empire. 366 pages.
Bear that Wasn't, The; by Frank Tashlin. 64 pages.
Christmas Box Miracle, The; by Richard Paul Evans. 261 pages.
Complete Ripping Yarns, The; by Michael Palin and Terry Jones. 278 pages.
Cowboy and His Elephant, The; by Malcolm MacPherson.240 pages.
Dirks Escape, The; by C. Brandon Rimmer. 191 pages.
Dog for All Seasons, A; by Patti Sherlock. 244 pages.
Dragonhaven, by Robin McKinley. 342 pages.
I Capture the Castle, by Dodie Smith. 343 pages.
Kaboom Boys, The; by Elaine Hume Peake and Don Keith. 345 pages.
Last Battle, The; by Cornelius Ryan. 571 pages.
Malcolm at Midnight, by W. H. Beck, pictures by Brian Lies. 267 pages.
Mogo's Flute, by Hilda van Stockum. 87 pages.
One Corpse Too Many, by Ellis Peters. 285 pages.
Portable Door, The; by Tom Holt. 404 pages.
Possum that Didn't, The; by Frank Tashlin. 64 pages.
Rare Benedictine, A; by Ellis Peters. 150 pages.
Relativity: The Special and General Theory, by Albert Einstein. 164 pages
Social Contract, The; by Jean-Jacques Rousseau. 188 pages.
Tales of the Peculiar, by Ransom Riggs. 190 pages.
There's Treasure Everywhere, by Bill Watterson. 173 pages.
Three Against Hitler, by Rudi Wobbe and Jerry Borrowman. 164 pages.
Town, The; by Shaun Prescott. 247 pages.
Unsung Heroes and Settlers of Bonneville County, Idaho; by Connie Otteson. 167 pages.
Walk in the Woods, A; by Bill Bryson. 397 pages.
Will Rogers Book, The; compiled by Paula McSpadden Love. 212 pages.
Ze Page Total: 6,871
The Best Part
Americans at War, by Stephen Ambrose
The Indiana and the Illinois units came over the barricade north of the railroad and captured a gun. Private James S. Adkins of the 33rd Illinois, exhilarated by the bloodless victory, leaped astride the gun tube, waved his elbows up and down at his sides, and crowed like a rooster. Then, curious, he tugged at the lanyard. The gun went off, hurling a shell close over the heads of the units coming up in support, and bucking Adkins head over heels into the dirt. Miraculously, no one was hurt.