Number of trips to the hardware store needed to get the project to this point: Five, including the one where I chickened out and said they were out of stuff because it hadn't come in on the truck.
Number of trips to the hardware store today: Two. Fortunately, all in one trip because the first store didn't have the wood buttons I needed.
Number of times the 12-year-old was summoned from the basement to help: Four.
Number of times the 12-year-old felt like he was summoned from the basement to help: One million.
Number of cuss words uttered during the four hours it took to get the project this far: Unknown; currently hanging in space over Lake Michigan.
Number of screws stripped, bent, or broken: Five.
Number of tools borrowed from the wife: Two.
Number of YouTube videos watched, featuring well-dressed individuals in sunlit conditions, safety glasses, safety aprons and a safety carnation at the lapel so they don't look too industrial, using $500 chop saws and other fancy equipment to complete the job: Six.