Plug it in and Turn the Crank

A common lament is heard in English class – not necessarily this one; you’ve been an extraordinarily patient bunch – is (and it’s sometimes said with a lot of volume) WHY DO I HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO DO THIS?

I have a very simple answer:

So you can get better at it.

The Argumentative Synthesis essay is, by nature, one dependent on a formula:

1. A     An introduction where the writer identifies a problem and explains why the problem is significant.
2. B     A body where the writer explores at least three solutions to the problem, going over the solutions in detail to explore their strengths and weaknesses.
3. C     Concluding on describing their preferred solution in greater detail, along with an explanation why it’s the best of all possible solutions.

We’re used to formulas. I recall something about the Pythagorean Theorem from my high school days – don’t ask me what it is now; I was a communications and English major in college. But I do recall my high school algebra teacher saying we’d live or die by formulas, and that to solve the problem, all we needed was the right formula, and to “plug it in and turn the crank.”

Well, I remember plugging it in. I remember turning the crank.

But the formulas never worked for me (see previous note about communication/English majoring).

But I have to ask: Was it the formula’s fault?

No.

Mine. Because I didn’t practice turning the crank enough.

It can be argued that I won’t necessarily need the higher maths for the rest of my life. But if I agree with that, I miss the point.

And the point is this: LEARNING.

We have formulas in English composition for a reason. And the reason is is that writing is hard work. I’ve been a professional writer since I started in newspapers in 1997, and there are still things I’m learning about writing. And once I master one aspect, there are other aspects to learn.

Plugging it in and turning the crank – whether in math or in writing – means putting in a lot of practice so you can tell when you’ve got the wrong formula, if you’ve accidentally plugged it into a 220-volt outlet, or if they’ve replaced the crank with a push-button starter.

I want you to progress on your “learning how to write” journey in this class. Thus the learning of a new formula, the argumentative synthesis essay.

But once you master it, oh, the things you’ll do.

Let me draw on an example from the world of music. Namely, Victor Borge. For those of you who don’t know Borge, he’s a classically-trained pianist. Behold:

He plays beautifully, no? He knows his way around a piano. He can plug it in and turn the crank.

But, oh the places he went. Once he knew the formulas, once he could plug it in and turn the crank with efficiency every time, he really began to learn. And what he brought to the world was uniquely Victor Borge. Behold again:

We hear the formulas coming out. But we hear Borge too. Unique Borge.

And that took a lot of practice too.

So. Plug it in. Turn the crank. And keep on doing it. After enough practice, you’ll be surprised at what comes out.