Thursday, May 30, 2013

Death of A Titan

I think I’m officially giving up on The Count of Monte Cristo.

I remember reading this book in high school, and smirking because some idiot in class didn’t read the book and wrote a report about how this guy Edmond really loved his Mercedes and got really mad when his competitor took his beloved automobile away.

Moron obviously skimmed the book. Got a few names and the fact there was a bit of a love triangle there.

But you know what? I don’t blame that kid. Not now. This book is meandering, plodding – and a snorefest. Edmond Dantes may be a cold-blooded revenge plotter, but right now he’s so mired in integrating himself into Parisian society and meddling in the affairs of people ancillary to those on whom he wants revenge, I’m ready to scream.

Yes, it’s a classic. Yes, it has survived the test of time. And yes, the version I’m reading – the one most of us read – is less than one third the length of the originally-published version, which is just chock full of even more boring stuff about the Napoleonic Wars.

Just because a book is a classic doesn’t mean I have to finish reading it. I’ve given it a good college try.

The story, of course, has always bugged me. Edmond Dantes could have used the knowledge and fortune given to him by the Abbe for good – but instead uses it to exact a nasty revenge. Mister Magoo does a better job with the knowledge he gains.

No matter. I’m done reading it.

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