Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Would You Read This Book?

There’s no doubt I’m having difficulty writing a pitch for DOLEFUL CREATURES. I’m seeking lots of advice as I struggle with this task, ignoring those who say if I’m having trouble writing a pitch my story must not be all that good. Maybe that’s fatal ignorance. But I have faith in my story.
Nevertheless, writing the pitch is hard work.

Here’s what I’ve got, after following advice found at this link.

Jarrod the Magpie is a murderer, and the animals that live on and near Purdy Farm won’t let him forget it. Worst of all is Aloysius the Badger, Jarrod’s childhood friend, who didn’t see the murders exactly but saw Jarrod standing among the bodies on the shore of the lake deep in the box canyon far above the farm.

But the stink of death Jarrod carries with him is only one problem. There’s a war brewing in the wood, and nobody’s sure what side to take. The marmots are digging tunnels everywhere and planting spies in every tree and hollow log. The Lady walks the woods, filling the trees with her chattering starlings and flooding the tunnels and burrows and treetops with her sweet stink of love and despair.

Only Jarrod and the murder of crows want to wage battle – pitting birds against Mother Nature herself. They find help in the rocks and the skies above the desolate box canyon, and in its dwellers, who have secrets to tell about Jarrod’s past.

It’s not the best. But it’s what I’ve got.

So, would you read this book? That’s the big question.

And another question: Should I trust a writer who uses so many clichés and tired phrases in her own sample pitch (from the link above:

London. The near future. Aliens have invaded Earth and colonised Europe. Major William Cage is a PR expert for the US Army, which is working with the British to prevent the invaders from crossing the English Channel. Battle after battle is lost until an unexpected victory gives humanity hope.

But the enemy is invincible. A planned push into Europe fails and Cage finds himself in a war he has no way to fight, and he is killed. However, he wakes up, rebooted back a day every time he dies.

He lives through hellish day after day, until he finds another soldier, Sergeant Rita Vrataski, who understands what he can do to fight the enemy. Cage and Vrataski have to take the fight to the aliens, learning more after each repeated encounter.

If they succeed, they will destroy the enemy, and save Earth.

This thrilling action-packed science fiction war story will show you how heroes are made and wars can be won. Against the odds.

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