I Don't Want to Muppet on this Planet Any More

The Muppets are going reality.

And, if Entertainment Weekly is to be believed, more “adult.”

By reality, they mean “mockumentary,” meaning we don’t really get to see them doing their skits with beloved actors, just the in-between crapola they “go through” as they attempt to get a new show on the air. They don’t define what they mean by adult. But the mind reels and then shoots down to the phrase: “How low can we go?”

Read, and weep for your childhood, here.

The Muppets return to prime time with a contemporary, documentary-style show that—for the first time ever—will explore the Muppets’ personal lives and relationships, both at home and at work, as well as romances, break-ups, achievements, disappointments, wants and desires; a more adult Muppet show, for kids of all ages.

The show could do so much – and who cares if it got compared to the original show? I did the same thing to Muppets Tonight, and I was wrong. Muppets Tonight did what The Muppet Show did just as well, keeping what worked with the old show while bringing in enough new to keep it fresh. Haven’t we mockumentaried the world to death by now? That’s the best they can come up with for a Muppets reboot?

You know, here’s an idea for something fresh the Muppets could do: A variety show. We haven’t seen a good one on television since Carol Burnett and company left. And, since, well, The Muppet Show. We’ve had a lot of mockumentaries lately. A lot of behind the scenes stuff. It’s not original.

Get guest stars and let them have fun. Do you think Peter Sellers had fun doing this? I think he did. And we, the audience, lapped it up.

Good ideas here for the reboot. Except for the last one. Which is where the reboot is going. Yuck.

What would have been wrong with, you know, just bringing The Muppets back? Does everything need a grittier, edgier feel these days? It was already a show for kids of all ages.