Monday, October 22, 2018

No Redemption for Milkshake Duck

I only read about Kelvin Pena afterwards.

Reading about him inspired two thoughts:

1. What the hell is “milkshake ducked”?
2. Dude, come on.

The first thought was easily answered. A milkshake duck is how the Interwebs refers to someone who briefly basks in Internet fame, only to have a “sordid” past surface to tarnish the fame.

Apparently, Pena, who gained fame as Brother Nature – and naturally branded it and is selling, probably, t-shirts and deer-related merchandise thanks to his relationship with a handful of deer which show up in his backyard to eat carrots and such, sent racist and other stupid tweets as a pre-teenager.

This means, according to the Internet, his Internet fame is tainted and over and he must needs be shunned forevermore because any association with him means you would kiss Hitler full on the lips given a chance.

This leads, of course, to the second thought.

That second thought is not directed at Pena, who acknowledges his past stupidity. It’s directed, rather, at the rest of us who probably all have sordid thoughts in our past – or even our present – but since we’re not Internet famous, they can remain solidly in their closets.

We’ve become so cynical. It’s like we all go into the Wabac Machine and are all present when Ron Ziegler, press secretary for US President Richard Nixon, uttered the famous “This is the operative statement. The others are inoperative,” in trying to explain the Watergate scandal which eventually brought Nixon down.

Sure, we think. He’s repentant now. But he said UGLY THINGS in the past so that must mean he’s an UGLY PERSON, no matter his apologies and what appears – on Pena’s part, not necessarily Nixon’s – to be contrition. ANY ASSOCIATION with Scumbag Brother Nature means you accept his past ideas, even if he now rejects them and admits he said them as an attention-seeking geek who should have known better and certainly knows better now – and very likely knew better before the rage started.



To me, it’s a faux rage that denies forgiveness. It’s spite writ large for everyone to see.

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