Dottie Follow-Up

Dottie is still ready to play -- but gently.

It’s more than two weeks now since our dachshund Dottie lost the use of her hind legs.

She’s still with us, in much better fettle than she was at the outset. She’s not in any pain, which is a big relief, and our vet believes the disk rupture in her spine is healing well. She cannot walk, but she does have some feeling back in her hind legs – she doesn’t like her toes pinched, she can stand on her legs with a little assistance, and she can twitch her tail. She’s also able to go to the bathroom on her own, though we have to help hold her up as she does so.

Things could be better. But they could still be a lot worse.

I don’t think she’ll ever walk again. But her primary mental challenge right now appears to be boredom – and distress when she wets or poops on her pad before we can get her outside. She doesn’t like making a mess, that’s for sure; it concerns her that she can’t move to take care of business on her own. But she’s happy to play with toys, chew on her rawhide, and occasionally get a visit from her sister Daisy, who still can’t figure out why Dottie can’t play much any more but is growing to accept it.

If there were a button I could push to make everything better, I would. That button would also include explaining to Daisy just what the heck is going on with her play buddy and why she can't play any more. But there isn’t. So we move forward.

She’s getting better at letting us know when she needs something, and we’re getting better at interpreting her barks and growls. About three-quarters of the time, she’ll tell us when she needs to use the bathroom, and we can get her outside to do her business before she has an accident. She also lets us know when she’s thirsty and when she wants to play.

Once I get our taxes done, we’re going to get her a wheelchair, so she can roam around at will in the back yard. I think she’ll do pretty good with a chair, as many other weenie dogs seem to do:

More updates to follow.

Old Souls

I used to be offended – irritated is maybe the better world – when someone described me as an old soul.

To clarify: By old soul I don’t mean this new-agey thing that I’ve been hanging around this planet for tens of thousands of years. I do mean, however, that an old soul is a soul that looks at what’s being offered today and thinks, well, it could be better. Not necessarily that it was better back then, but just better in general. It’s a Huxley-Postman look at life: Not wanting to be amused to death but not necessarily fearing that what we hate will destroy us.

Abraham Simpson is an old soul, viz:

A lot of it comes in doubt. I used to fear doubt. But accepting doubt and working through it is a hallmark of an old soul. We trust, but we verify. I verified that “viz” meant what I thought it did, though I’ve used it many times in the past, because maybe in the past I’ve used it wrong. I’m not. And that’s a relief.

We trust, we verify – but we’re grounded.

And what am I grounded in?

Seeking.

To those who claim that “ye cannot know,” the Lord has answered “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. That is a marvelous promise.

Indeed, a marvelous promise. A promise made in seeking. Studying. Thinking and pondering and asking questions and ultimately, accepting the answers that come from the oldest soul of all.

Additionally, Bishop Causse says: 

We have the assurance that “the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not”. The spirit can have an even more powerful effect on us than our physiological senses. To the Apostle Peter, who had just declared his faith, Jesus replied, “Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven”.

Do I have doubts? Yes I do. But doubts do not dominate my life. If they did, oh what despair would I have?

Old Souls, I hope, pass the test.

That doesn’t mean some doubt leads to poor feelings – but poor feelings are to despair what a sprinkler is to a thunderstorm.

JRR Tolkien was an old soul, who expressed his seeking through his books. And what seeking he did. I’m grateful he shared his answers:

Frodo expresses our fears when doubt comes to us: We wish that this had never happened.

Gandalf, the Old Soul, reminds him of what he – and we – are to do: So do all who have lived to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to do is to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, beside the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the ring, in which case you were also meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought.

The secret for old souls, as we seek, is to be part of that other force – the force of divine providence. The force of God.

Froxt/Nixon Review Addenda

Addenda:

I criticized this book for being boring. Then I had second thoughts, particularly as I revisited the last few chapters of the book.

Firstly, Frost asks Nixon a checks-and-balances question in relationship to his acts as president that the current occupant (and recent past occupants) of the White House should be pressed to answer:

What I wanted him to respond to was his bedrock claim that he, as President, had the right to decide unilaterally when constitutional protections could apply and when they could not. In a sense, I suggested, “You were behaving like a king . . . you were behaving like George III rather than George Washington.

Alas, that line would eventually find itself on the cutting room floor, because Nixon’s answer was unusuable. He seemed so thoroughly beaten – or “psyched” – on the question of his own abuses of power that his defense was no longer even credible enough to stand as a meaningful test of our two positions. In this case he began with a brief reference to the Black panthers and the Weathermen, and then went into a long dissertation supporting his belief on capital punishment.

I tried to come back to the point, “But when you said, as you said when we were talking about the Huston Plan, that the President orders it . . . that it makes it legal, as it were. But is the President in that sense . . . is there anything in the Constitution or Bill of Rights that suggests the President is that far of a sovereign . .  that far above the law?”

“No, there isn’t,” Nixon replied. “There is nothing specific that the Constitution contemplates in that respect. I haven’t read every word, every jot and every tittle. But I do know this. That it has been, however, argued that as far as a President is concerned, that in wartime a President does have certain extraordinary powers which would make acts that would otherwise be unlawful, if undertaken for the purpose of preserving the nation and Constitution, which is essential for the rights we’re talking about.”

Classic political equivocation. All you have to do is expand the definition of “wartime” and bingo, you’re the President with all the power because you’re in the shower. And because sometimes these unilateral presidential moves occur in areas we support, we as a people allow it to happen. And then we quail when it’s done in an area we don’t support. We can’t shake the devil’s hand and say we’re only kidding. Either we’re okay with our presidents acting like kings, or we’re not.

Frost puts it better:

Others may honestly regard [Nixon] as dangerous. They may see in his conduct and mind-set the germ of something drastically at odds with the nation’s democratic heritage. But Richard Nixon knows his own mind and his own heart better than anyone else. And whatever others say, he knows that undermining our system of government, the constitutional traditions of the American Republic, the rights and freedoms people enjoy was the furthest things from his mind. That was never his “motive.”

In other words – despite what he did, he was a good guy. He’d never do anything to deprive Americans of their rights. That’s in the eye of the beholder. And then again, what’s to stop the next guy – who could possibly make Nixon look like a beloved character – from doing really nasty things with that Imperial Presidential power because his predecessors helped set the precedent for him? This is what ought to scare us in our sleep.

And while we’re talking about checks and balances, Nixon had this to say:

“The most important thing I said in the Interviews you’ve probably cut out,” he says, gently, resignedly.

“What’s that?”

“About where power lies today. In the media. With no checks and balances. You’ve probably cut that out.”

“Well, I have half passed the test,” I say. “We’re including it in the fifth show.”

Yes, we can write that off as traditional Nixon media-hatred. But I think there’s a grain of truth in it. Not because of what Nixon ever said about the media, but because of what Aldous Huxley wrote in “Brave New World.” If we as a nation, a people, allow the media – truly without checks and balances – to lie to us with partisan reporting or dull us with sound bites and entertainment rather than news, we get the kind of government and media we deserve.

Beta Reading Notes

NOTE: I'm beta reading an excellent novel -- and I'm posting the notes here so I remember what I told this guy so I remember to do it in my own writing.

 Robert,

I’m liking this book. The characters are fun and the action is good.

I do have a few suggestions:

Jargon and “technobabble”: I’m getting lost in it. First of all, I think being consistent will help. You refer to Med-Tecs, then Tecs, within paragraphs of each other (page 21). Pick one term. I’m also worried your use of impulse power is just too Star Trek. It’s a familiar term, yes, but it stands out as Hey, you’ll be seeing Scotty coming ‘round the next bend. I’d consider something else. I don’t mind that you’re using jargon – it’s to be expected in sci-fi. Just make sure you’re using it consistently and in a way the helps your readers remember what the words mean. As far as the technobabble – that’s what they call it in production of Star Trek TNG – I’m leery of it. It adds nothing to the story when the navigator belts out what direction they’re heading. It’s meaningless to the reader. (example, “Starman,” Reagan shouted, “Set two-seven-one!”, page 37) What does that mean? Yes, it’s part of the nuts and bolts of running a ship, there have to be commands shouted, but keep it to a bare minimum.

Characters: You’ve got some great characters in this book, many of them developing into the kind of well-rounded characters other writers will envy – but I’m lost in figuring out who is who, what job function they have. You refer to them by first name, then by last name, then by first name again – I can’t connect them. I can’t tell if you’re talking about one character or two characters. It’s rare to hear a crewmember’s full name in one go, but you’ve got to do that because I’m getting lost in the soup. That makes me not care about them because I don’t know really who you’re referring to.

Dialogue attribution: Kill the adverbs. Now. Almost every dialog attribution is along the lines of “So and so called out excitedly.” Get the excitement into what they say and dump the adverbs. Also – and this is a matter of style – I would limit the use of words like “called out,” “announced,” and such. Let the emotion, the urgency, come out in what is said – and then say the character “said” it. Sometimes things can be shouted. Or screamed. That’s fine. But stick with said more often than not. And make sure the emotion the adverbs are trying to add are in what is said – then you don’t need the adverbs and your dialogue will be more emotive.

Dialogue. Also, read your dialogue aloud. Some of it is pretty klunky – for example, “That would be why I’ve come” on page 21. It’s snappier to say “That’s why I came.” Shifting the tense from the past whatever to the present is snappier. Another example:  “I’ll do my best, sir” the droid replied. “What we’re all going to need to be doing,” Reagan mumbled (page 61). It would be better for Reagan to say something like “That’s what we all have to do.” It’s present tense. It’s immediate.

Breathing space: As I said when I read “Thulsa’s Gate,” you do action well. Far better than I do. But your readers need some breathing space. I’m at page 40, and you’ve had your crew go through at least four crises. They’re handling it well. But the reader – and you – need some down time. For exposition. For character development. To help your readers know your characters’ names, what they’re like in off-action situations. Look for those moments where your characters have some time to breathe, and expand on them. Help us to get to know these people so we care more about them the next time the battle stations come up. This would give you time to follow up on some things I had some questions on – such as what happened to the urgency of getting this life-preserving fluid for Reagan? He goes through a big battle to get it, but it’s then mentioned almost as an afterthought as you follow up on it. Here’s a chance to expand some breathing space and let us know what’s going on with his body and such. He can have some downtime, interact with the characters (helping us to get to know their names and jobs in the process) before the next battle comes up. Use a little breathing space to explain why they’re going to Oneida. You got them there and I couldn’t remember why they went there in the first place. Seems like they ought to have a good reason to go to such a dangerous place, but I couldn’t find it.

Suspending Disbelief: The chapter “What Time Is It?” I struggled with. The name confusion thing doesn’t help. I have no idea who these characters are. I think you need to dial this chapter back a notch, because I’m not sure even Scotty could handle all this devastation. I know you’re setting up for Reagan’s display of superstrength brought on by his two hearts, but there’s got to be a way to do this that doesn’t toss physics out the window.

Emotional Superstrength: In the chapter “Always” you also have a chance to develop Reagan’s character tremendously here as his wife dies – he can show super strength of an emotional caliber, or demonstrate that his emotional strength hasn’t quite caught up with his physical strength.  As it is, her death leaves me kind of flat. He doesn’t really react. Here’s action of a different caliber you need to apply yourself to. You’ve got the talent to do it. Challenge yourself.

The, ahem, ladies:  You mentioned a previous beta reader was a little frustrated with the ladies. I can kind of see her point. The ladies get described with curves and hair and such – but only one of the men gets such treatment. It’s traditional in sci-fi to do this, but in this day and age it seems a little outmoded. I kind of go with the Hemingway method of describing characters: Don’t. Let the readers sort it out in their heads. Unless a woman’s blond hair is an integral part of the story, I’m not sure it matters all that much if she has blond hair. I admit when writers describe their characters, I get lost. Sometimes, it’s because the character is so well-developed I already have a picture of them in my mind, associating their strengths and weaknesses with people I already have in my head in a visual way. Then the description comes along and my image gets garbled. So to make reading easier, I toss out of my mind what the writer says. Almost every time. Almost completely, unless, as I mentioned earlier, there’s an attribute of the character’s appearance that’s going to be important later on. I might even have to read the book two or three times to pick up on the important clue the writer dropped, I’m so used to forming character images in my own mind.

An Open Letter to our Dachshund Dottie

(Photo: A dozing Dottie, pre-injury).

When Michelle called from the vet to tell me your back legs were paralyzed, my inclination was to have the vet put you to sleep.

In those few moments, I knew we’d never see you running in the back yard again. Chasing after birds. Chasing after your sister Daisy. Catch-all phrases like “quality of life” formed in my head, ready to drop out as a justification.

Then another thought that crowded everything else out: “How big is your heart?”

It’s easy to love when things are going well. When the only concern is the pee spots on the downstairs carpet or making sure you’ve got your sweater on when you go out in the snow.

But when things went bad – why was my first inclination to end it?

That’s the world we live in now. If something’s broke, we don’t bother trying to fix it. Even if it’s obsolete but still working, we replace it and move on, leaving the old stuff we once thought useful to rot as junk in some forgotten box.

But this is life we’re talking about. And I thought about ending it.

Because it would be easier. Easier for me. That quality of life? Maybe it’s my quality of life. Because for the easy way out, you’d have no qualities of life at all.

My wife’s heart is naturally bigger than mine. She talked me into steroid treatments and acupuncture for you – not knowing what quality of life treatment would bring you, just knowing you deserved better than the Big Sleep. You deserved for us to try a chance because you are loved, even if that love now comes with a potentially higher price.

She bought the training pads for you to pee on when you get excited to see me come through the door but can’t run up to me like Daisy does, like you always did. When I reach over to you in your bed at night to offer a few comforting strokes as you fidget, it’s her hand I most often contact in the dark in search for your fuzzy head.

How big is your heart, the voice in my head asked.

Thanks to a little wiener dog, it’s getting bigger.

We don’t know if you’ll walk again – though seeing you occasionally wag your tail, twitch a foot, and, yes, go to the bathroom, is comforting. We tell Daisy as she watches, as she comes by with a toy she’d love you to play with, that she can’t take walking for granted. And I remind myself I can’t take life for granted, even though my first thought was to end yours to make mine easier.