BLOCKED

Update to this story of randos calling me about cars.

I did end up calling the dealership. Twice. On two phone numbers.

No response, of course. Which is what I expected. They're not communicating with their customer, so they have no real reason to communicate with me as well.

But because I don't want to be in the middle of this anymore, I did the only thing within my power: I blocked the number of the lady who kept calling. I feel bad for her, but there's no reason for me to be dragged into the drama she's having.

And I don't want to be pulled any further into a possible scam. It's beyond weird.

My guesses:

1. She copied the number down wrong and should in fact be calling someone else.

2. The dealership gave her the wrong number.

3. The dealership is a bunch of shysters who gave her a random number in an attempt to get her off their backs.

I don't want to be involved in this. So I'm not.

Countersigned by Pierre Andre! In *Ink*!

Not far from our credit union is another place of business bearing the name of "Apline Castle Lake Insurance." Every time I see it, I wonder how much they had to pay per adjective.

Probably got the same deal these folks on on nouns, touting their "Proton Lottery Raffle Draw."

I mean, I guess people fall for this crap. I imagine if I'd followed through I'd be taken down one of two popular scam primrose paths (if I can also pile on the modifiers):

Path 1: Be prompted to surrender bank information so the lottery raffle draw prize money can be deposited into my account without them touching even a single penny that's there,

OR

Path 2: Be promped to pay a trickle of custom duty funds release fees (I got all of *those* modifiers for free) in the hopes they'll eventually send me my funds, on the pinky promise that once I pay just one more fee, the money will be in my lap, thus:

I'm too cynical, first of all, to believe this is real. Also, I'm not stupid.

What, *My* iCloud Account?

I've been getting a TON of emails like this one, warning me my iCloud storage is going to be shut down:

I appreciate that these folks, whoever they are, keep kicking that deadline down the road, because at this point I'm convinced my nonexistent iCloud account will never be shut down, no matter how many emails I ignore.

Aside from the "from" addresses being total gobbledygook (they're not even trying to spoof anymore) there are enough tells here for me to know instantly this is a fake. Aside from the fact I don't have an iCloud account I actually care about.

They must get enough hits to keep trying, though. Could wish I wasn't on full blast for their scams.

Poor, Poor Solomon . . .

Solomon Ibra of the "PayPal Security Team," not content to try to scam me once, tried within the span of ten minutes this morning to scam me four times, and I haven't even checked my spam filter yet.

[Checks spam filter]

Nope, nothing from Solomon there, but plenty of people warning me that my iCloud account is about to go belly-up.

Just out of curiosity, I opened each email. They all say exactly the same thing, right down to the bogus reference numbers.

Most scammers aren't that bright, but the current crop are about as dumb as a sack of hammers.

Scam Text Dumps Me Immediately

 

As you can see, I was removed from this group.

I was removed from this scam text group *before* I had a chance to open it. And I saw it come in, so it was only a matter of seconds between the text coming in and me getting removed from it.

I DEMAND REINSTATEMENT TO THE SCAM GROUP TEXT.

Of course, I reported the number as spam and blocked it anyway. Jerks wouldn't even let me taunt them.

I Should Have Known Better, Part Infinite

Though I have yet to fall victim to an online scam (knock on wood) I continue blithely believing those entities who claim to have my best interests at heart in protecting me from the evils of the online world.

Viz, this email received this morning from Experian, one of the three credit card reporting agencies:

Of course I want them to remove my info. And yes I see the "upgrade" portion of the email, but I figure, hey check this out to see if what they're offering now is a freebie and the "upgrade" applies to the "recurring scans" only.

Hah. You already know where this is going.

Of COURSE Experian wants $25 a month -- A MONTH, $300 a year -- for this service. Which is probably 100% automated.

So no. I'll continue avoiding the scams manually -- and they do pour into the email inbox to be sure -- and save myself the money. There are probably free services out there I could use to do what Experian wants to do for me, but I'm not bothered to find them and they probably don't exist anyway.

So my choice is to continue to be vigilant against bad guy scams, or pay for a good guy scam and still have to be vigilant against bad guy scams. There is no choice at all here, really.

It just bugs me. I'm irritated that these companies see me as a piggybank to exploit to the tune of $300 a year, rather than someone who might appreciate occasional free use of their automated info detection services. But nothing is free in a capitalist world.

It's Like the Scammers Aren't Even Trying Anymore

So I got an email from Coinbase telling me -- breathlessly of course -- the following:

Your account will be closed within 24 hours

Dear Costomer,

Our team detected that you used other people's data when registering a Coinbase account. The activities you carry out violate our terms and agreements.

Therefore, we will close your account in the next 24 hours. Immediately verify via the link below and use your personal data to repair your Coinbase account.

I, of course, being a suspicous jerk, know immediately this is a scam.

There's the misspelling of "costomer," combined with the lack of personalization and the litany of subtle grammar errors in the message that follows.

There's the email coming from an "info@" address connected to a university hospital in Pittsburgh.

There's the urgency to repair my account, and the contradiction that repairing my account will assuage their accusation that I used someone else's data to create my account in the first place.

Their landing page looks like this:

Coinbase's login page looks like this:

I can see how someone in a hurry might be fooled by this. But see the "suspicious jerk" thing I mentioned earlier, so I'm wary.

Also, I don't have a Coinbase account.

NOTAFINGA!

[Finally finds the perfect thing to post on an ad that's been in my feed with an every-other- post frequency.]

[Ad disappears from my feed.]

I'm not complaining; just a little disappointed.

The crypto bros at BlockDAG must have done their rug pull, because seriously, they're gone.

Now that I've mentioned them, maybe they'll show up in my feed like Bloody Mary.

It's a beaut. They were gonna look at it and figure I'd just "notfinga"ed my feed.

A real crusher.

Hey Facebook, Do Better

This is the result of one of my many reports to Facebook of ads that send clickers to computer repair scam pages.

Facebook does not have its users best interests in mind; it is interested only in advertising revenue.

Facebook gave me the option to request another review. Clicking on that option brings up this pop-up, which just keeps looping me back to the same pop-up. So I clicked on "request review" a dozen or so times.

I'll probably be banned for abusing their ad reporting system.

The ads I've reported all took me to a website home to a software repair scam similar to the one Pleasant Green describes in this video.

Scamming So Inept . . .

Dear Michael Hall, of Michael Hall Consults, hallconsults.com,

You complete hack. Your game is obviously come kind of scam, but it's such a poorly-constructed scam I have the idea that you're actually dead but before you died you set your scam/spam function up to send these emails out and there's something corrupt in your database, bro, because nothing you're saying makes sense.

First, my name isn't Bill.

Second, you seem interested in my online adjunct experience, but want to sell me a francise in (looks it up) Delaware?

I'm not franchise material, certainly not within the state of Delaware. I mean, is Delaware supposed to ring some exciting libertarian free-for-all bell? I'm cross country, bro. I don't need to be even ankle-deep in Delaware franchise shenanigans.

Then there's the construction of your email. You make it look like you've contacted me several times to no avail (that my be true, but I doubt it). And really, do you promise that this is the *LAST* time you'll contact me? I hope so, but I doubt it. You don't even know my name, dude. How can I trust you further?

I'm sure it's all meant to get me to respond by saying "Hey, my name's not Bill." But I won't do that.

And it might be time to talk to GoDaddy about your web domain. You've got bigger issues than trying to fop off franchise opportunities in Delaware if your domain is up for grabs.

Hey Scammers, Do Better

I used to sincerely worry that if I kept pointing out that a tell-tale sign of a scam is poor sentence structure and grammar on the website that the scammers would get smarter, brush up their English, and thus slip, undetected, into the continued maelstrom that is social media scam-baiting.

But I guess I needn't worry; even with "About Us" pages this bad, the scammers keep finding enough willing dupes to make their efforts worthwhile, and probably profitable.

Behold:

In case your eyes are like mine and can't make out the small print, I'll transcribe:

Welcome to our online shopping store!

We're devoted to giving you the leading and a assortment of the items with most elevated quality of items, that are ensured to meet your needs and keep you fulfilled! We have committed staffs and key accomplices who help us investigate and make the items that bring the foremost esteem to our clients. We continuously keep an eye on the most recent patterns for such kind of our items and ceaselessly improve our items and out our customer's wishes first.

Our mission is to bring clients the leading involvement when utilizing our items in both item quality and benefit quality. The interface of our clients are continuously the best priority for us, so we trust you may appreciate our items as much as we appreciate making them accessible to you.

Follow us for the latest products, news, and updates.

Store owner.

I'll go over this a few times to make sure I don't introduce any errors; they've got enough on their own. Oh, the spelling is on point. But this sounds like what 99% of scammy websites sound like: Something that's been poured into a translator and spat back out, a la Jimmy James:

Of course, no one is going to see this, because they're all too focused on the up-from-obscurity and by-his-bootstraps story of the inevitable genius college youngster who saw a need and filled it but is being pushed around by Big whatever -- in this case, Big Bug Zapper -- and is struggling to bring his product to market. Nevermind that the same product can be found advertized by a dozen different names, some of which end up linked to nifty little web pages like this:

Every site you find live mentions there are only X number in stock, with X,XXX number of people hovering on the page which has one of those handly little clocks counting down in MINUTES from when the deal will end, only for the clock to either reset or start counting in negative numbers. The number of items available never changes, but the number of people watching soars toward the end, likely to present the idea of scarcity.

And the comments are no better; filled with bots and accounts of people that've been taken over as if they were San Franciscans and Donald Sutherland had spotted them.

It's fun because sometimes the bots talk to each other in their cute little babble-speak and you get a nice warm, atificicial feeling, the same you get when two bits of electrical equipment are interfering with each other.

But they must sell enough product to make the pages worthwhile, and the customers get what they paid for: A shiny bomb casing filled with used pinball machine parts.

Don't Do Business With Replacementlaptopkeys.com

UPDATE 2: They did, in fact, refund my money. I'm still not going to do business with them, as it appears they have a long history of noncommunication with their customers, and that is not the way to run a railroad. Conundrum, though: I was also refunded the money by our credit card company. I have emailed them to tell them I don't think it's right to get a double refund either. We'll see what happens there.

UPDATE 1: The company emailed me this evening to say they have cancelled my order and refunded the money. Whether or not this is the result of my repeated contacts, or my bank or credit card company contacting them, I don't know. We'll see if it's true.

***ORIGINAL POST***

Because I'm a klutz, I dropped a speaker onto my oldest son's laptop, snapping the U key in half.

Because I'm not a slouch, I glued the key together and repaired the keyboard, but told my son I would get a replacement key to make his laptop good as new.

That led to a search online to find a place where I could replace the key, and that led to replacementlaptopkeys.com, among a few other websites I considered.

I went with them, not particularly because of price -- the websites I visited tended to be the same, or at least in the same range. I should have done more homework.

Here, ten days later, the site that brags if you need a key, they have it in stock, still shows my order as "awaiting fulfillment."

A perusal of the internet, along with their social media presence on YouTube and Facebook, shows this is not an uncommon thing. Many people are dissatisfied with the company, saying their orders -- far older than mine -- still haven't been delivered. Or they're sent the wrong parts when an order is filled.

So I've filed a dispute with my credit card company. Here's your warning to stay away from replacementlaptopkeys.com.

And yes, I did try to contact the company. I called them several times, but the only option on their end that was working was to leave a message. Guess how many they've responded to?

I've also emailed them, both through my email account and through fillable forms on their website. Haven't received a single reply.

The only part of their company that seems to be working is the part that collects payments, just so ya know.

While I would be more patient with these people if they were communicating with me, I have none when their response -- even to critical posts on their social media accounts -- is silence.

So save yourself the trouble: Don't do business with them at all. They're scammers.

Avoid Suspicious Pusrchases

Scammers, a word:

1. This is not a valid T-Mobile email address.

2. While this is the company name, it is not the company logo.

3. Spellcheck can be your friend.

4. Omitting words is not a good look.

5. This is not how T-Mobile presents itself in text.

But people fall for this crap, I guess. It's not hard, however, to pause for even fifteen seconds to see there are  enough flaws here to suggest SCAM.

Also, while we do use T-Mobile as our service provider, my email address isn't in the mix. Oops.

And look what popped up on the ol' Google when I searched for "dbw mail":

Joby Manuel, Message Received

Received the following email in one of my inboxes today:

DEAR SIR,

PLEASE SEND 1000 trillion $

and a laptop.

MR Joby Manuel,
House Name--THEKKEMURY,
c/o Mr. T.A.Emmanuel & Mrs. Ammini Emmanuel
50/711C,PVWRA-111
Bunglow Lane,
Ponevazhi Road,
Ponnekkara,
Ernakulam,
AIMS POST OFFICE,
KERALA STATE-682041,
INDIA

GOD BLESS YOU
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My place is 3 to 5 minutes
walking distance from St Xavier's church, ponepalli,
ponekkara.
I stay next to Rose Village.

You can also reach me through ponnevazhi Road, My house is the last one on the left side of Bunglow lane.

It’s nice to see email scammers simply taking the direct approach these days. His mailing address is far longer than his simple demand for a gigantic wad of cash and a computer. Gotta appreciate that moxie.

But you know what, buddy, if I’m going to send you $1,000 trillion, you’re going to buy your own laptop.

Dumb Journalists Like Me

There are many reasons I am no longer a journalist, and glad to be so. But here’s the biggie:

I’m dumb.

Dumb as a rock. I have a major failing in me that cripples my ability to work as a journalist, and that is I trust people. Yes, I know the first rule of journalism is “If your mother tells you she loves you, check it out.” I get it. But I’m still dumb.

Not as dumb as others, however.

This “Climategate” thing just keeps getting worse. The New York Times finally chimed in on the matter in an intelligent fashion – I don’t mind that it took a week and a half; I’m pleased that someone is looking at this stuff without a knee-jerk reaction. But what John Tierney writes in the Times really speaks to me not as a skeptic (because I’m not) but as a former journalist. Here, he’s speaking of the famous “hockey stick” graph purporting to show a marked increase in global temperatures in the last portion of the 20th century (emphasis mine):

Most of the graph was based on analyses of tree rings and other “proxy” records like ice cores and lake sediments. These indirect measurements indicated that temperatures declined in the middle of the millennium and then rose in the first half of the 20th century, which jibes with other records. But the tree-ring analyses don’t reveal a sharp warming in the late 20th century — in fact, they show a decline in temperatures, contradicting what has been directly measured with thermometers.

Because they considered that recent decline to be spurious, Dr. Jones and his colleagues removed it from part of the graph and used direct thermometer readings instead. In a statement last week, Dr. Jones said there was nothing nefarious in what they had done, because the problems with the tree-ring data had been openly identified earlier and were known to experts.

But the graph adorned the cover of a report intended for policy makers and journalists. The nonexperts wouldn’t have realized that the scariest part of that graph — the recent temperatures soaring far above anything in the previous millennium — was based on a completely different measurement from the earlier portion. It looked like one smooth, continuous line leading straight upward to certain doom.

The story behind that graph certainly didn’t show that global warming was a hoax or a fraud, as some skeptics proclaimed, but it did illustrate another of their arguments: that the evidence for global warming is not as unequivocal as many scientists claim.

So, enter the dumb journalist in me. I’m rather like Dave Barry: Maybe I’d like to go out there and, as a journalist, fight corruption. But I have no idea how to find any. And if the so-called experts – who are much more knowledgeable than I – say this graph and the data behind it is good, so be it.

So I’m no longer a journalist. I’m too dumb. As Dogbert is fond of saying, a journalist in this kind of situation can take the report, consider it, talk to other experts, work really hard and maybe, after several months, find the problem. Or he can just write up what the expert says and be done with it. Either way, it pays the same.

Nobody ought to be cooking the books or spinning the data this way. There’s plenty of umbrage on the greener side of the spectrum concerning the spin behind nuclear energy, clean coal, climate change skeptology, that you’d think those on the side of righteousness would be extra scrupulous in making sure their data was good, comparing apples to apples. Compariing apples to pomegranates to make the situation look worse, or, as Tierney says, making it appear unequivocal, is dumber than a dumb journalist parroting that information to the masses.

CRU hacker/whistleblower, thank you, whoever you are. I’d like to see one side of this debate present honest work. Still waiting. In the meantime, I can enjoy this:

Craiglist Spam

I've been reluctant to use Craiglist because of, shall we say, the shadier reputation this classified advertising site has. But as the months drag on and our van hasn't sold, I finally decided this week to post the van to Craigslist in the hopes of getting a little bit more interest in it.

Well.

Got an e-mail this morning from Deeanna Floros, who mentions the van in passing, but the goes on with a sob story about how she had to sell her son's Xbox in order to make the house payment and wants to help people in "similar situations" by pointing them towards some Internet-based work-from-home scamathon.

As per usual, the e-mail contains hilariously broken English, viz:

One of my good friends showed me how he was able to earn great income working on your home computer. I couldn't believe he would share this with me, but I am appreciative that I am sharing this with everybody who needs a break and who might be in a similar situation.

So even if I were desperate for some kind of at-home business, this one would be off the list because she uses the word "appreciative," which I regard as a word only because it contains letters from the generally-accepted alphabet. I'm also enough of a grammar nazi to wonder how her friend is going to make money by working on my home computer. (Read it again; that's exactly what she says.)

Add to the irony is that her invitation to work at home arrived under a huge banner from Craigslist advising me to avoid work-at-home scams. Thanks for the advice, Craigslist, but I'm way ahead of ya, sister.