Father Mulcahy: Uh, no. On the troop ship, I was once asked to give a lecture on the, uh, sex thing.
Frank Burns: Oh, good.
Father Mulcahy: Well, being celibate, I didn't feel qualified. They brought in a Protestant. He had a film, about two sailors. One was from Cleveland ostensibly, the other from a small, rural area. The city boy decided to stay on the ship and write his high-school sweetheart. Lovely young girl, with a megaphone on her chest.
Frank Burns: Father, please. This is important.
Father Mulcahy: The country boy got mixed up with a young lady who lived in a trailer with three other young ladies and a man with a whip.
Frank Burns: Father?
Father Mulcahy: Broke his wristwatch and everything.
Analysis: Obviously it’s his wandering delivery mixed with curiosity that nails the one to the wall.