"There it Is"

July approaches.

And I don't know what that means.

Any other year, it would mean the family at scout camp, me at home working and preparing for their weekend returns.

This year, an organized chaos. That's maybe a way to put it.

We're all home. Not really going anywhere. Trying to stay busy but at times getting on each others' nerves.

I've written about the bathroom. That project, I think, was a godsend. It kept me busy during a time when work really wasn't. It came at a good time, and it looks great.

Things are different now. Still at home, but busier. Two eight-hour days at work last week. And that felt really hard. I know it shouldn't, because I've been doing four ten-hour days a week up until the end of March. And maybe if I can get back to that, it'll feel like a break.

My prediction: One more week of working at home, then after the Fourth of July next Saturday, I'm back to work, out at the Site, full time. And that won't be bad. It'll be different.

I think we're all feeling a bit of stress.

Michelle and Lexie are going to a merit badge scramble at Krupp Scout Hollow starting Monday. Because of Covid, they're taking the camper so they don't have to use public toilets. But that's meant getting the camper ready. Again. Oh, I'd love to get rid of the thing. I have one house to maintain; I don't need two. But we're getting it ready and it'll be okay. That's what I have to remind myself.

Working at home isn't relaxing. Oh, it was at first. Not any longer.

Part of it is setting, I'm sure. I do get a fair amount of stress in my job from time to time. But by the time I'm done with the hour and a half commute, the stress has mostly dissolved and I'm home and things are easier. Now, there's no commute, and the stress is here where I am trying to de-stress. That's not a healthy combination. It's part of what chased me out of journalism. So as much as I have enjoyed the time at home, it's time for it to end.

I think part of the problem is that I haven't been able to move on to another summer project, which really relaxes me, or at least gives me focus for the time being. I did get the little bit of fence done, but I've stalled staining it  I have the stain to finish, but now it's been raining.

Part of this also is the typical Sunday Doldrums, where whatever weird little depression we Davidsons gets really settles in.

I need this virus to go away. It seems to be the background to everything that we do. Don't take any pandemic-free life for granted, that's my lesson now.

The thing is, nil desperandum.



which of course makes Doldrums Me laugh cynically.

I understand better now, Dad. I understand.

Checking In

It’s been a while since I wrote about life, the coronavirus, and that blasted bathroom remodel. So here goes.

BATHROOM: It is done. We have officially begun using it. Aside from one little glitch with a towel bar that fell down, it’s in great shape. We even like the oval mirror over the square one, and it’s big enough that we can both use it (the fear was with a smaller mirror, it would have to be hung in a way that would cut the top of my head off, but not so). It is a relief to have that project buttoned up officially.

That means, of course, moving on to another project. I had intended for the other project to be the siding, but the youngest son sidetracked us with taking the wainscot out of his bedroom and painting the walls. He had a yellow and orange motif going. Now it’s white and blood red. Can’t say they’re the colors I’d pick but it’s not my room.

This does mean more than painting – there’s been some drywall repair and plastering too, what with the removal of the wainscot. But that’s fine. It was just a strip of trim on the wall, drywall below and above. I think there used to be wallpaper below. Glad that’s gone.

CORONAVIRUS: Restrictions are lifting, but the virus, of course, is still here. We’ve seen a moderate spike in cases since restrictions started being lifted. So we’re being careful. We’re wearing masks, still not going to church, and avoiding large gatherings. Well, Isaac and Michelle did to go to an Order of the Arrow event a few weeks ago and one of the wingnuts there arrived with a fever but convinced the organizers she could stay. So we’ve got those types out there. So far, so good for us. We are meeting as a Scout troop again, but as we’re doing the Cycling merit badge, we’ve been able to do everything outdoors, which helps a lot.

I’m still working from home, and likely will be into July, or so I surmise from the last bit of information I’ve been given. With more people being brought back to work, though, the amount of work I’m doing at home is going up. Not complaining, just thinking it through. Part of me is ready to go back, but with the “masks all the time everywhere” protocols they’re asking us to follow out there, I’m not that anxious to go. Working from home has been nice, with lots more time free in the evenings, since I’m not doing that commute. I may see if they’ll let me telecommute on Mondays, so I can be home in time for our Scout meetings. I’ve been working in town on Mondays for that, so this wouldn’t be that big of a change for them.

LIFE: We’re into our second day of rainy weather. It should end today, but it has meant for a lot of gloom outside, and not much getting done with the garden or other outdoor projects.

I’ve been fighting more feelings of depression lately. Really came to a head a few weeks ago when I was feeling overwhelmed with the English class I’m teaching at BYUI. Had student conferences coming, and I just couldn’t do them. I really did try, but when it came to doing them, I just felt stressed and alone. So they didn’t happen, except via email. Not the way I want to do things, but something had to give that week, and that was it. I think part of it is that by this time of the year, I’m used to being home mostly alone, with everyone else at camp. With the virus this year, no summer camps. So there’s a lot more bodies mooning about the house and I’m out of my quiet routine. I seemed to have a lot of time when they were gone. Not so much with them here. Not that I don’t love them. It’s just that there are a lot more needs and requests and such when we’re all piled into the same house.

GOOD STUFF THAT HAS HAPPENED:

1. The DI reopened, so the pile of stuff we had in the garage is gone.
2. Speaking of stuff in the garage being gone:
a. Liam finally got his room clean enough we could move his filing cabinet up there. More than a year after it entered the garage.
b. A lot of camping gear has been labeled and stowed. More to do, but making progress.
3. Speaking of stuff in the garage being DISCOVERED. Months ago, I misplaced some pots and other camping gear. Figured it had stayed behind at one of our spots. But in shuffling things around, I found the box they were in.

Remember the Words

"First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me."

These are the words of Martin Niemoeller, a Protestant minister and vocal critic of Adolf Hitler and the Nazi Party.

I often hear his words used when a crisis arises and people are being called to action -- and it's aimed mostly at those who aren't making waves.

Strong sentiment in these words.

And I believe them.

But consider: Niemoeller wrote them in part to expiate for his own antisemitism.

Yes, Niemoeller had antisemitic feelings, by his own admittance.

No, he was not a perfect man.

Remember that when you want to erase the legacies of other imperfect people.

More importantly, remember his words.

And be careful where you draw lines. You may find yourself on the other side of those lines one of these days.

The Beginning of Something

When I was a much younger man, I could sit and stare at a fire for hours. When the wind is calm and the summer noises are almost gone so you can hear the crickets and bullfrogs. When the sun has set but still won't let but the brightest stars shine; when the moon still lies abed below the horizon.

Then I could watch the flames wrap and tickle and the sparks shoot and the damp wood hiss and the embers, the tender embers, flooding the underbelly of the flames with the promise of long, low, sustainable heat.

I can't sit and watch the flames now for more than a few minutes. The flames pall. The embers no longer dance. Damp wood aflame no longer smells like the promise of a new tomorrow. And the smoke, the smoke is always in my eyes.

For an ordinary man, a midlife crisis.

For a pyromaniac, maybe a sign to switch careers.

Fence

So you know last weekend we were getting buried in snow. This weekend, near record-high temperatures, and I got the little bit of fence between our house and Karl's house done. Looks good.

SNAE!

This is how you know it's Memorial Day Weekend in East Idaho. I mean, usually it's rainy as all get out, but this year being 2020 and all, snow seems appropriate.

The dogs aren't all that happy. I had to give Dottie the boot to get her out the door to pee this morning.

This is the apricot tree that lost a third of itself a few years ago in an early fall snowstorm. I did spend some time in the back yard shaking trees to try to get rid of the snow. It's very sticky.

Also, when I was outside shaking trees I heard:

[Distant snap][Splat]

[Distant snap][Splat]

[Not-so-distant snap][Splat]

[BIIIIIG SNAP BIIIIG SPLAT HOOOOOOONK!]

[Distant snap][Splat]

Still want to go see what got splatted.

Bathroom Project: Almost Done

So close. So very close.

What you see here is a bathroom that needs only the following:

1. Re-painted walls

2. Light floor cleaning

3. Medicine cabinet

4. Towel and toilet paper rack

5. Mirror.

I'm that close. We'll go get new paint in the morning. Might have it painted tomorrow. I certainly hope so. Because I'm utterly sick of this project.

Eleven Blue (or Red) Men

Because the book I'm currently reading isn't really capturing my attention, I pulled Berton Roueche's "Eleven Blue Men" off the shelf for a re-read.

Yes, it's an ironic book to read during a pandemic. For those unfamiliar with Roueche, he wrote a series called "The Annals of Medicine" for the New Yorker -- a series of short non-fiction pieces, set mostly in New York City, about various disease outbreaks over the years.

The one that caught my attention the most this time is called "A Man from Mexico." It tells the tale of an outbreak of smallpox in New York just at the close of World War II that was traced to an American who had been living in Mexico but was traveling through New York on the way to Maine with his wife to look at a farm she's just inherited.

While traveling, the man became ill, an in New York stopped at a dermatologic clinic at a city hospital. The outbreak sickened twelve people with a virulent form of smallpox. Two of them died.

What's striking about this story is the public health response: A mass immunization.

Officials estimated at the beginning of the outbreak, per Roueche, that only about 2 million of the 8 million people living in New York had any immunity to smallpox, due to vaccinations or exposure and recovery.

First, public health officials tracked down more than 3,000 people who might have come into contact with the man and wife -- a search that stretched into 29 states.

Then, a mass immunization program began, with the then-mayor of New York City going to the press to show himself getting immunized.

What was the public response, to an outbreak that was limited to 12 confirmed cases, including two victims? At least 6,350,000 people were immunized, including nearly 900,000 children who were immunized through the public school system.

So when, I wonder, a vaccine for the coronavirus becomes available, what will the public response be? I hesitate to say it will be as successful as this example from post-war New York.

Because the news and social media clearly tells me vaccines are political now. A mass vaccination program -- particularly one that might have been linked to getting injected with cow juice, as one could colloquially put with the bovine-generated smallpox vaccine -- would meet with some stiff resistance among the loonier fringes of society. That would probably include our current lieutenant governor, who is not a stable woman, if you forgive the pun.

You'd have the fringe saying vaccines cause autism. You'd have the fringe saying anything the government wants to do is baaaaad, baaaaaaad, folks. You'd have the even loonier fringe who'd suspect that government vaccine was really putting nanorobots or tracking chips in them. So noooooooooooooooooooooo way, sir. No way.

And you'd probably have people drinking it by the gallon too, because stupidiousness knows no political bounds.

Anyway, some good reading, if you've got the time.

Paint

The paint in the master bath is too yellow.

Nevermind that in most of the pictures I've taken it looks white. It's too yellow on the walls. That's after two coats.

So I guess we're re-painting.

And if that's the only problem I run into in that bathroom, I'll be a happy man.

What's left to do (aside from the paint)

1. Touch up grout on the borders
2. Grout the wall trim
3. Clean the floor
4. Hang the towel rods and toilet paper holder
5. Install the new medicine cabinet
6. Figure out how to replace the mirror.

That's it. I feel pretty good about things. Thought most of this can't happen until the walls are painted. So we'll see when that happens.

So, How Does it Go?

First of all: ahaha.

I thought with the stay-at-home order, working from home, and time freed up since I'm not communing, I'd have more time for things like editing that novel and blogging.

But as you know, round about the time the virus started lolloping through the state like a big bear, we decided to remodel the master bathroom. Not done yet. And the paint on the walls, completed today, may be TOO YELLOW. Send help.

I'm ready to go back to work, not necessarily because I want to go back on the Chernobyl mobile and such, but because I'm tired. That bathroom remodel has taken up a lot of time. Add to that the garden. Oh, the garden. The crabgrass is gone from the raspberries. And the tiller is now in the dumpster at Ace Hardware and we have a new used one I used just this week to prep the garden for planting. That, I'm going to leave to Michelle, as I've still got the bathroom to deal with.

And while it sounds like I'm complaining, I'm really trying not to. The bathroom is close to being done. The paint is a minor issue, given what else we've gone through to get the room to where it is now. Painting would add another day to the project, so not that bad. Still, I'd like to think the only thing I have to do with paint now is touch up, not start over.

Second of all, the stay-at-home order technically expired on May 1. But we're going through stages of re-opening. Stage 2 starts tomorrow, meaning businesses like restaurants and hair salons and such can re-open. All's up in the air as to when we'll get back to work. I keep hearing the word June popping out of the mouths of higher-ups. Part of it is that many of our projects make social distancing a difficult thing to achieve. I keep thinking every Monday when I check in for work that I'll get the message that we're headed back, but that's two Mondays now without the word.

I'm doing about a third of the hours I'm used to, but still getting paid for the difference. When this started six or so weeks ago, they said the Department of Energy had lined things up for this pattern to continue for ten weeks. That seemed like a long time then, and seems like a long time still. I hope things are back to more normal before that ten-week period is up.

The kids, I think, are doing okay. They're both chafing a bit at the social distancing, particularly Isaac, who loves being with his friends. We are winding down home school, though, which is a good thing. Today we spent a good few hours helping Lexie and Isaac with their sculptures for their art class. I'll have to post pictures.

I should say I'm pretty proud of Lexie -- she's earned five merit badges while being stuck at home: Geocaching, Citizenship in the Nation, Home Repairs, Photography, and one other that's eluding me at the moment. Oh yeah. Family Life. That's a biggie. Isaac did manage to squeak out Home Repairs, which is a good one for him to earn. That also means one more Eagle palm for him.

Liam is still doing the mission thing. He's getting more used to working on the church farms in the area, though the wind out there in Osgood is really wearing on him. He started again at Sellers Creek Trek Center this week. He really enjoyed that last summer, so I hope that's a good thing for him.