Friday, December 9, 2011

Another Anne Elk Idea

Inspiration struck this morning:

It actually started here, with a silly idea called cashmob, in which Twittered or beFacebooked people organize themselves through a set of convoluted rules to do something that's actually rather simple: Spend money at locally-owned businesses.

It is, of course, at its roots a sensible idea. But it's in the rules that things go crazy.

One rule: The business you patronize has to be within a block of a bar. No exceptions. Because, of course, the social aspect of cashmob is that once you've spent your $20 (or whatever you want; the rules are pretty lax there) you have to go out for celebratory drinks to congratulate each other for spending your money at a soulless, locally-owned establishment rather than a soulless corporate-owned behemoth, neverminding that what you buy at the local store costs probably twice as much as any other place you might want to visit. Because everything has to be social these days. Even your self-righteousness.

So in comes the idea for Here's the setup:

We all know how hard it is to find clean public restrooms. So with, one of our fellow Poopers indicates when he or she has discovered a quality establishment. One week prior to the PoopMob, we coordinate our efforts. Here are the rest of the rules:

1) At least an hour before the Poop Mob, consume vast quantities of your favorite beverage.
2) At least six to eight hours before the Poop Mob, eat lots of high-fiber foods.

Those rules, obviously, will help you be supercharged for the Poop Mob. More rules:

3) The restroom to be used for the Poop Mob must be a public restroom in a place that expects a lot of public use (in other words, not at one of these tetchy places where there's a militant sign up somewhere that says "Restrooms for use of customers only." Exceptions will be granted, of course, if the Poop Mob, in turn, patronizes the business after the Poop Mob is finished. One negative word from the proprietor, however, will negate any shopping at said establishment.
4) Establishments not in the public domain will NOT be warned beforehand.
5) No one-ply paper allowed.
6) If the restroom proposed for the Poop Mob is found to be disgusting by the first few Poopers to enter, the Pooper who suggested the location will be ejected from Poop Mob.
7) After the Poop Mob is finished, there shall be pie.
8) I mentioned the one-ply paper, right?

If you're interested in joining, drop me a line.

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