Tuesday, April 2, 2019

I Hate April Fools

On April Fools Day, I firmly plant my stick in the mud.

It’s my second-least-favorite holiday, right behind St. Patrick’s Day, which makes it convenient that my holiday loathing can be exhausted in a relatively short period in the year.

The prevalence of April Fools Day jokes on social media may be a part of my dislike for the holiday. Although its pointlessness runs an immediate second.

Pointless, you say?

Yes, I retort with a careful derisive snort.

April Fools Day doesn’t bring jokes. It brings pranks, and pranks are jokes whose cummerbund has fallen into the toilet.



The general April Fools Day joke depends on the gullibility of others for the larff value. Someone has to look foolish for the April Fools Day joke to succeed. Just like St. Patrick’s Day depends on faux Irish solidarity to avoid being pinched; the participant in the joke is often not willing but just as often can’t escape the jape.

This isn’t to say I hate others for liking – or loving – these holidays, or loving to prank other people. Do it all you want. Just don’t expect me to giggle along with you. Or to wear green. Because it ain’t gonna happen.

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