My boy's gonna. . .

I just don't like the idea that we're going to have to put up with presidential election rhetoric for the next 11 months. I'd prefer a Stealth Election Date, which would work something like this: Sometime during the year prior to the expiration of the current president's term of offce, the Federal Election Commission would just up and declare that the election was going to take place on any random date. We'd get two weeks' notice. We could vote for any of the bozoz running right now, regardless of the pointless party nomination process. If the vote were too close, we'd get another chance, say two weeks after the first vote, to decide between the top two or three bozos from the first round. Once an election date were declared, candidates would be forbidden to advertise, make any public appearances or collect any money. Maybe we could put them to work bagging groceries for the two weeks prior to the election and let them talk to people only after they'd carried their groceries out to their cars.

A stupid idea? Sure. But no less stupid than the process we've got right now. . .

What concerns me more right at the moment is that the "check Engine" light is on in my truck. I'd prefer the Dave Barry approach to getting things fixed: We'd both like the offending part to be waving a little sign that says "Help!" when we start poking around so we can tell if it's gotta be fixed right away.