Only a Tech Writer (or English Major) Would Notice. . .

As I was shaving this morning, I noticed the following instructions on my Barbasol Ultra Gel shaving cream:

Directions: Wash face with warm water. Leave wet. Hold upright and press top to release gel.

I'm unclear on the antecedent. The only time I've had gel come out of my face when I held it upright and pressed its top was when I had sudden relief from a severe sinus blockage. I'm not sure I'd use that gel to shave my face.

The following, by the way, was tacked on after the "directions," because, by the looks of things, they didn't want to use a larger font to help their existing, comical text fill the space available:

High tech, his touch Barbasol (R) Ultra may cause a severe increase in attention, compliments and confidence.

Let's take those nouns one by one:

Attention. The only time I get attention in relation to my shaving gel is when I haven't used it for a few days.

Compliments. They're usually in the form of "Don't you feel better not looking like a Sasquatch?"

Confidence. Usually counterbalanced by the blob of foam I leave near my ear, where the foam dries out makes me look as if I've got a boil.

The advertising copy, I suppose, I can forgive. But please don't make me shake my head to produce my own shaving gel.