Friday, October 5, 2012

Great Truths that Came to Me This Week

1) The best seat in the house for clipping your toenails is the toilet. It puts you right close to your feet.

2) Second runner-up is a bucket in the garage. Minus points for being in the garage in colder weather, but plus points for not having to dispose of the clippings.

3) If your wife hands you something and says "Give this to me for Christmas," it's probably a good thing to hide it rather than leave it in plain sight on your desk all week. Wives are known to get testy.

4) Smart dogs are the ones who can remember you've been around for more than five minutes so they don't have to give you a heartfelt greeting every time they see you throughout the day.

5) Rufus, the main dog of Brian and Jana Porter, is a smart dog.

6) The Porters have an emergency backup dog named Hurley. I'm not going to say he's any smarter or dumber than Rufus, but I am going to say that "emergency backup dog" is a great phrase. Thank you Dave Barry.

7) Finding a salted in-shell peanut in the bag of unsalted in-shell peanuts you bought from WinCo can turn an otherwise pleasant night into a night of wild taste sensations.

8) Forget about being in an echo chamber when it comes to news and commentary on the Internet. The real echo chamber is the "suggested video" column at YouTube.

9) It's hard to imagine how I wasted time before the Internet.

10) Rick Redfern had great insight today as to why the life of a blogger is not as glamorous a life as one may be led to believe.

11) Wiener dogs who want Dad to go sit on the couch and read are persistent little cusses. Not that she wants to read, mind you, but she wants a warm body to sleep on.

12) Getting caught putting up Halloween lights in the tree in front of your house is almost embarrassing as getting caught putting up Christmas lights in the tree in front of your house.

13) Suggesting it might just now be cold enough to begin playing Christmas carols will incite ire and indignation on Facebook.

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