Approaching the Fiscal Cliff

"That guy's dead. You better believe it."

I don't pretend to understand any of this fiscal cliff stuff. I do know, however, that it might be high time to do something about it, rather than continue kicking the problem down the road to be dealt with at a future time. Funny thing about the future, it keeps turning into the present.

I have no confidence that either the Democrats or the Republicans will come up with a fiscal cliff plan, let alone agree on one. Both sides are counting on making the other side look bad so they can score political points, rather than making up a plan that could possibly work. Of course, there's the thing: They'll still get their jobs and pensions and free health care for life whether they come up with a solution or point fingers at each other or end up like Smiler, just kickin' that can down the road a bit further. It works either way, because they get to paly the blame game, which is much more fun in Washington than actually coming up with a plan that works. Or even a workable plan that both sides could possibly agree to.

I don't have any great solutions, either. That taxes should be going up to pay for stuff is probably a given. That some expenses should be cut is also a given. But where to get the money from? Government track records show that they aim for the upper class but tend to hit the middle class square between the eyes. And while you might wonder why, for example, ethanol needs to be subsidized, there are people who have come to rely on their subsidies and have lobbyists employed who will keep screaming about the subsidies until the subsidies are protected just to keep the noise levels down.

But I'm not in charge. Nobody has to listen to me, because the election-time butt-kissin' is over. And I'm no expert in these matters. And the experts in these matters are either on one side or the other or are shaking their fingers at Washington or at home on the Xbox doing some kind of accounting with the Kinect kind of thing that the rest of us are probably better off not knowing about.

The people who are in charge are doofuses. Playing politics when they should be making policy.

President Obama, maybe you shouldn't have gone on vacation. I know you wanted to. So do the rest of us. But I stand a chance of not having a job should we fall off the fiscal cliff, and if that happens I'm packing up my family and moving to DC to camp out on Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House in our little camper until things are fixed. and I will not shower or shave and I'll buy a lot of fans that will blow my stink your direction.

Same for you, Congress. Yes, I know you're in a dither about guns right now, with good reason. But that's a sideshow issue. Sideshow. Get back in the big tent and on to the main event.

If anyone loses jobs or health insurance over the country going over the fiscal cliff, y'all ought to be in the front of the line. First to lose it all.

First.

And we'll take away your limos and such.