"I'm A Moron. Common Mistake."

Honestly, I don’t try to complicate things. Things sometimes just get complicated around me.

Or, the other explanation – and given the evidence, it’s hard to dismiss – is that I’m a moron.

On occasion, I fail to be detail-oriented. That’s a flaw for a technical writer, and it’s something I’m working on. But right now it appears my occasional failure to be detail-oriented means I’m sitting once again in a cubicle in town as my new badge tries to make its way to me.

Here’s what happened:

About a week and a half ago, I got notification that my new ID badge for work was in. This is the high-security badge that’s the result of a background check and a wait of almost a year (it would be a year as of March 14^th). All I had to do was set up an appointment to pick it up.

Here’s where the failure to pay attention to detail falls (and I can’t verify this right now, as my saved emails are on my work computer, and that’s where the evidence lies). 

Apparently in the email it says where to go pick up the badge.

Problem 1: If this is the case (and I’m about 90% sure it is, given the snafu-ed world I’m in) it’s out of their normal practice. Traditionally when I go to get a new badge, it doesn’t matter where I go to pick it up.

Problem 2: Apparently the reason this matters is that these badges can’t be made locally, and have to be mailed.

Problem 3: I wanted to pick up my badge on a Friday, for reasons. Mainly because I don’t have to leave work early (and I mean HOURS early) to get to where I’d need to be to get the badge at either location (one of which, though technically closer to my workplace, is hard to get to as shuttles don’t run there and I’d either have to drive out for the day or see if I could wrangle one of the scarce company vehicles for the trip). If I do it on a Friday, it’s a quick, fifteen-minute errand. Any other day, it would be a minimum of two hours.

Anyhoo, when to pick may badge up Friday, at the wrong place. Very likely my fault, as I failed to notice (likely) there was a specified pickup location. Still . . . 

Sunday night, my current badge got shut off. So I had to be let into the building this morning and am now frittering (and I mean fritterin; memorizin’ jokes from “Captain Billy’s Whiz-Bang” and all) away time as my badge and I try to meet up.

Had I paid attention to detail, I might have discovered where my badge was, and acted appropriately. However, wouldn’t it be nice if we were allowed to decide where to pick up our badges, because I’d pick in town every time just due to the inconvenience of getting to the other location. Those sending the badges out don’t seem to care.

Hopefully by the end of the day I’ll have this all un-fubared and everyone will just look at this episode as an unpleasant memory in an otherwise stellar-to-lackluster career (I have to be honest, because I will continue having my moments).

I’ll file this all under the rubric PAY ATTENTION, ZITBRAIN and try to learn from it. You’d think as an adult I wouldn’t have to keep learning these lessons, but, you know, being an adult is about 90% faking it until you make it.

Ironically, I saved this little self-missive in a public folder where anyone in Document Control could have seen it; fortunately it was only there for a few moments and in a little backwater that would have been difficult for anyone else to find. Still . . . evidence points to me being a moron. On occasion. And hopefully, those moronic moments are getting fewer and further between. One can hope at least.

Further bulletins, of course, as events warrant.

Update: Still badgeless. Badge is in town, but the computer system needed to activate it was down all day. So I try again in the morning.

SECOND UPDATE: I have my badge now. But the lady I saw first thing in the morning -- the same lady whom I've been talking since Friday to get the badge -- asked, first thing, if I had an appointment to get my badge. I wanted to scream. Then she said they typically don't hand out badges until 8 am. I was there at 7. Fortunately, her co-worker was much more accommodating.