"Some People Say that You Are Very Vain . . . "

So there is now a midnight cherry red 2008 Tesla roadster in orbit around the sun.

Aside from this being the biggest advancement in automotive advertising technology since the air-powered flapping noodle man, I’m not sure I understand the value of this mission. If it can even be called a mission.

Sure, I get the proof of concept. Proof that the Falcon Heavy rocket can deliver payloads to space. But the car to Mars thing – pure ego. Which, I suppose, it what makes Musk go round.

And he has his phanbois:

Sending the trailblazing Roadster on a trailblazing mission to Mars is amazing. If it gets to Mars, a trailblazing electric car will be in orbit around a future home of humanity and the first car “on Mars” will be the only type of car ever on Mars, an electric one. If it blows up on launch, it will go out in a blaze of glory. If it drifts off into space, it will be going where no car has gone before.

There is no way for this to be less than an epic end for an iconic car.

I suppose it is a less ignominious end than the accident that claimed my Dad’s Lincoln Mark 4, but that accident was at least a lot less spendy.

And yes, I did say “orbit the sun,” because the Tesla is not orbiting Mars, nor is it ever likely to see Mars, except via some cosmic accident of proximity as the car orbits the sun, crossing the orbit of Mars only twice each orbit.

As far as I can tell, their goal was to light that candle and see how fast it would go, and hope it didn’t blow up. The Tesla was just something to get Joe Sixpack at least moderately interested in the launch, or at least something to brag about to the media and the other elites as the launch window approached.

The Apollo training missions certainly had more training and scientific gravitas, though they were probably met with at least as much meh as this launch has seen.