DON'T TOUCH THE LEGO SET!

While I love the level of detail included in this LEGO set for the Town Hall from "The Nightmare Before Christmas," it's got a property that I've noticed out of late of LEGO sets: It can't pass the structural stability test my younger brother and I devised years ago when we built our own LEGO models: I could not hand this model to my sister and have it stay in one piece for more than a few seconds.

This is not a dis on my sister. She's not clumsy or maladroit or anything. We just figured that if a LEGO thing we built couldn't be handled by someone else for more than a few seconds without breaking, it needed reengineering.

This thing needs reengineering. It's very true to the movie's aesthetic, but structurally is about as fragile as a snowflake.

I really do like the advances in minifig technology, though I think the "children" minifigs should be allowed to sit like their adult counterparts.

I have a few sets that could be classified as older. And while they do break if I accidentally drop them on the floor, they don't shatter and scatter like the new ones do.

Not a criticism. Just something I've noticed.

LEGOS!

Going to brag on my youngest son for a moment.

Before Christmas, I saw this LEGO set at Walmart and mentioned to the kids it would make a great gift for their father. The price tag, however, was not friendly. So Christmas passed, and no weenie whistle, nor this particular LEGO set 

Time went on, of course.

Then he came home from Walmart the other night and said he saw this on their discount shelf at a price that couldn't be beat. He presented it to me as a belated birthday gift.

Somehow, maybe, we raised our kids right.

 

One Small Step for LEGO . . .

This is the coolest thing I own.

I was up until almost 1 am putting it together, and still had to finish this morning. It's cleverly built so that the ascent module is accessible by removing the sides of it. I also have an aftermarket LED lighting kit for it, but I didn't have the brain to work on it today. (If you've gotten this particular set and haven't assembled it yet, be aware assembling it while installing the lighting kit is recommended. I did have to go online to find a video to show me where the lights should go, as the instructions provided are technically nonexistent.

They also offer a Saturn V rocket that's more than three feet tall, but that's a bit out of my price range yet.

Way too Late at the Movies: The LEGO Movie

Since I typically don’t get to see the hot or not movies until they’ve had their fifteen minutes of Internet fame and have made it to the local cheap theater, I’m going to start a new intermittent series on this blog, the “Way Too late at the Movies” reviews. I’ll take advantage of my tardiness to take apart any breathless internetism that arises after the movie first comes out.

Here is my take on The LEGO Movie: Everything is awesome.

Yes, I have to include this earworm of a song. Because 48 hours after seeing the film, it’s still bouncing off the interior of my cranium.

I liked the film. Five out of five stars. Or bow ties, since I am a fat movie critic.

Why? The voice talent was okay. I know a few of the stars, but don’t know most of them (I’m also way too late at watching TV). Liam Neeson did a fine job at Good Cop/Bad Cop, and whoever voices Unikitty (I’m not bothered to look that up) was also entertaining and manic. So it’s Elizabeth Banks. Don’t know her. See the thing about being late at movies/TV.

The story is what hooked me. Nice little comic bits which were funny when I heard them at the theater but which elude me now (I’ll have to watch again) thought I do recall Metal Beard’s “The First Law of the Sea: Never put your butt on a pirate’s face.) A good lesson for anyone trying to raise kids, compacted in the one bit of film the kids might not watch so mom and dad can pay attention to it.

And the animation of course. LEGOs brought to life and all. Well done.

Breathless Internetism. After this film came out, there was some noise about the film being anti-business – because, of course, Lord/President Business is set on “destroying the world as we know it” by dousing everything in Krazy Glue so no one can do anything outside the set instructions.

And yeah, that’s the plotline. But anti-business? Hardly. Folks are focusing too much on the metaphor and not connecting the metaphor to the real-world connection the metaphor portrays.

When the reality scene kicks in, the metaphor is explained, and has nothing to do with being pro- or anti-business: The metaphor is far simpler: Dad it too standoffish with his interest in LEGOs and keeping his impressive LEGO collection pristine, while not recognizing that the LEGO obsession would be a prime way for him to connect with his son (and also his daughter, through the drug of DUPLO).

Dad, see, is all business when it comes to the LEGOs in the basement. Hands off. Off limits. SO bent is he on preserving his domain he wants to glue all the bits together so they can’t be dismantled. And they’re not toys, they’re a sophisticated building system. The only LEGOs he’s okayed for his son to play with are the DUPLOs. And no self-respecting kid is going to play with DUPLOs when there are LEGOs around. Dad needs to be less rigid with the LEGO basement – and who wouldn’t want such a cool LEGO basement – and let his kids play with him and build their own LEGO creations.

Did I say LEGO enough?

Doesn’t sound anti-business to me. Sound pretty pro-family.

Then there’s the bit about buying LEGOs, now with theme tie-in with the movies. Sounds like a pretty capitalist idea to me.

Missed opportunity at Breathless Internetism: The lyrics of “Everything is Awesome” include the following:

Dogs and fleas, allergies, a book of Greek antiquities

Brand new pants, a very old vest

Awesome items are the best

Trees, frogs, clogs

They’re awesome

Rocks, clocks, and socks

They’re awesome . . .

Listening to the song now I thought they were singing “trees, drugs, and clogs, they’re awesome.” So I had to look up the lyrics because if that were true, the Umbrage O-Meter would have exploded. Not so.

Either someone at Fox did their homework on the lyrics or they missed the chance at sparking another bit of outrage.

Scary Lego Men

Because there are three small children in the house, and because they play with Legos, I find them everywhere. We find them in the carpet just as we vacuum them up. We find them piled in pools of water on the bathroom vanities, or abandoned on every sitting surface in the family room downstairs, without any children in sight. And if, heaven forbid, we shift them (sometimes with a shovel, there are so many) we hear shrieks of indignation along the lines of: "Don't MOVE that! I'm PLAYING there!" As if there were black and yellow caution tape up around the entire Lego collection, alerting us to their being-played-with status.

Tonight, the following motley crew appeared on my desk:

First, we have righty, the brainy British Petroleum oil rig worker (by the outfit) who lost his right hand in some tragic Gulf of Mexico oil rig explosion.

Next, we have Sith Lord apprentice and baker Anakin. He's still serious about baking, of course, but he scowly mien, sunken cheeks and pistol belie his otherwise peaceful appearance. I'm sure in a former life he killed somebody "with this thumb."

Finally, this person I first saw upside down, so, given the long luxurious hippie hair, I assumed this was a female. Until I saw the five o'clock shadow and the mustache.

Since I can rely upon my children to leave their odd little Lego creations all over the house, this may become a regular feature of this blog. As if I don't already have enough to babble about.

UPDATE: Today (Sunday) the chef was seen having ditched his pistol in favor of a shotgun. STAY OUT OF THE BAKERY.