Blame "Captain" Kook

If I had a nickel for every story told in our house with this ending, I wouldn't have to work anymore.

Funny thing, though. I have it in my head that it was "Captain Kook's" treasure. That's how I always say it. But I guess that's mandela effect.

Work today was . . . weird. My boss was gone, and other co-workers were at an all-day training session, so it was oddly quiet in our little corner of the world.

It was nice. The quiet is something I miss the most from working from home. Aside from the occasional trip to take the dogs outside, work from home was pretty quiet. No interruptions. No forced small talk in the hallways or restrooms (by the sinks, never by the urinals).

Three Stages of Boogeyman or Boogeymen Awareness

A Facebook memory from 2015:

While discussing the possibility that our oldest will get to travel to Boise with the pep band if the high school basketball team continues to do well, the following exchange took place:

Mom: When we're there, you'll spend one night with Grandma and Grandpa.

Youngest: Why can't Dad take care of us?

Mom: Because he's incompetent and we don't trust him.

Me: Because we'd all end up sheltered behind a mattress while I brandish my shotgun, just like Homer.

I think it's fitting that Homer went through the Three Stages of Boogeyman or Boogeymen Awareness:

Stage One: Information becomes available:

Stage Two: The import of the information settles in:

Stage Three: React appropriately:

I Don't Know if I Got the Spices Right

It's not quite a "thin stew" in its current form, but it's certainly thin in the pan.

What is this I'm talking about? Why, it's this:

I found online a recipe for a dish like this, and yanno, it's pretty good. I have no idea if I got the spices right, but I'd make it again. Here's the recipe.

I didn't use bok choy, but substituted spinach instead. Also did not use fresh lemon grass or ginger, but used lemon grass and ginger paste. And while I was going to put shrimp in it, we were out of shrimp, which was sad.

(Annoyed Grunt)

So as I played "The Simpsons Tapped Out" on my ancient Kindle Fire today, this appeared:

I mean, I've played this game for who knows how long, and figured it was on borrowed time.

Now it has an end date, and I'm kinda sad.

I'll miss the game, but as they said in their announcement, adieu.

It does mean I can finally retire that old Fire . . . 

Unpopular Opinion: The Simpsons (and not Just the New Episodes) Kinda Suck

Because Disney bought Fox and because we have Disney+, a heretofore unobtainable vista (at least to cheap ol' me) has opened: The ability to watch all episodes of The Simpsons from start to finish.

I'm now in Season Nine, and I have to say:

The rose-colored glasses have fallen off, and The Simpsons kinda suck.

I mean, there are bright spots (Mr. Plow. Marge vs. The Monorail, Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song) but a lot of the storylines fall flat, some of the topics feel repetetive (how many times do we need to see The Simpsons dabble with religion, or witness Sideshow Bob try to kill Bart?).

Right now I'm watching Season Nine, Episode 16, "The Last Temptation of Krust," and wow, it's a stinker.

It might be blasphemous to early Simpsons adopters to hear this, but maybe some of the episodes in the later seasons are better? I'll keep watching and let the regular reader of this blog know.

In the meantime, I'll continue enjoying the little jokes and asides from the show that are actually better than entire episodes, viz:

The exercise hasn't been a total waste, as I've seen episodes I've never seen before. And this is where streaming comes in handy -- I haven't wasted hundreds of dollars buying DVDs of the episodes.

A Simpsons Revelation

Having successfully watched all three episodes of Bluey thanks to our Disney+ subscription, I've started on something else: The Simpsons.

It's clear from the get-go that in season one, I've seen clips, but up until now not a full episode yet. Of course, this was back in 1987 where I didn't regularly watch TV (not that I do now) and there was literally no way of catching up on them if you didn't have cable, which we didn't.

I do remember the really long introduction -- I'm glad they cut it to a lean twenty minutes, like they did Krusty's Hobo Parade. It does, however, shof off Danny Elfman's theme for the show better.

And I have no memory of Homer in a striped shirt.

Also a revelation: A few blockbuster episodes in the first season, if I can say so: Aversion therapy with Dr. Marvin Monroe. Kwyjibo, Below Average Human/Intelligent beast. [Stands up yelling in church] It's good! It's good! IT'S GOOD! They started strong.

Truth and the Murder House

As much as I think Orwell might not have been prepared for people espousing their own versions of "the truth," I'm pretty sure he knew all to well that as far as the public goes, truth is relative.

Also, forget about that house; that's the murder house.

I Give You MALK!

From the "I Saw This Advertised on YouTube and Thought it Was A Joke" department, I give you actual MALK.

Not a joke.

But clearly branded and advertised by an entity unfamiliar with the health benefits of Vitamin R.

I realize, of course, as an older, out-of-it COW MILK DRINKER that I am not their target audience. And that's okay.

But there are almond and oat milk drinkers in my family. Who might laugh at buying actual Malk, but that's beside the point.

Of course, I have to realize this episode aired in the far distant past -- 1995 -- so why I thought they might hesitate at branding themselves MALK seems silly now. 1995 is ancient history.

Or maybe it's a clever bit of marketing? Getting oldies like me laughing about Malk until I buy some and discover its qualities and then spread the word to my fellow oldies?

Nah. Someone just said "Malk. That's a good name."

That's My Courageous Story

I got an unexpected text today, and after a little prompting, decided how to reply:

They gave up after this. Pretty sure someone in North Carolina either decided to give up on the scme attempt, or figured out they'd texted the wrong number.

Seymour Skinner is the minor Simpsons character who is always giving.