Mister Fweem's Blog: Things I'm Tired of Vol. 1

Monday, February 4, 2008

Things I'm Tired of Vol. 1

Just for entertainment value, let me go over the things I’m tired of. They’ll likely still be going on when you get out at the end of the month.

Dramatic promises of waaaaay exciting news stories from our local TV news stations, advertised on the radio. Life hanging in the balance! Only tonight on News Channel 3!
Used car dealerships. Specifically, “Right Price Auto,” which seems to think the theme to “SpongeBob Square Pants” is free for their use as an advertising jingle, and “New Ride Auto,” who recently fired their Really Loud Car Sales Announcer in favor of an Ear-Ripping Loud Car Sales Announcer.
The Clinton/Obama race: She’s a Woman! He’s a Black! Less Filling! Tastes Great! What’s a Liberal to do?
The McCain/Romney race: Both: You’re an idiot! I know you are but what am I? You’re a nerd! I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I? Infinity. No! I’m not! You are! Shut up, Francis! Why don’t you make me? Why don’t you make me! Because I don’t make monkeys, I just train them! Makes me want to vote for Ralph Nader. Again. At least he acknowledges that he’s a moron.
Steve Jobs. If I have to see that smug picture of him holding up that new Mac laptop, I’m going to puuuuuuuuuuke. Thank the stars if you’ve never seen it. He makes Bill Clinton and Rush Limbaugh appear to be humble bumbles.
My, I’m a negative vibe merchant. So sorry. But it feels good to get it out of the system. Sorry you had to be on the receiving end.

1 comment:

martin said...: Why is it, that though he's got bucket-loads of money, Steve Jobs can only afford one naff, black, posy, roll-neck shirt?

I think Jobs is dead, and all they have is the shirt, and a recording of his self-satisfied voice.

Gotta new product? Give the office boy the black shirt, tell him not to shave for a week, slap an iNewThing in his mitts, tell him to listen to the tapes, then chuck him out on stage.

Everyone is either so busy trying to get him to give them a job, or they fell asleep immediately. In any event, they neither notice or care. This is an iEvent!

Office boy walks off stage. Another successful iScam!!

Office boy promptly sacked.; February 4, 2008 at 5:36 PM

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Catch You Later, Traitor, by Avi

“Pete,” said Mr. Ordson, “we live in a time of great mistrust. This is not always a bad thing. People should question things. However, in my experience, too much suspicion undermines reason.” I shook my head, only to remember he couldn’t see me. “There’s a big difference,” he went on, “between suspicion and paranoia.” “What’s . . . paranoia?” “An unreasonable beliefe that you are being persecuted. For example,” Mr. Ordson went on,” I’m willing to guess you’ve even considered me to be the informer. After all, you told me you were going to follow your father. Perhaps I told the FBI.” Startled, I stared at him. His blank eyes showed nothing. Neither did his expression. It was as if he had his mask on again. “Have you considered that?” he pushed. “No,” I said. But his question made me realize how much I’d shared with him. Trusted him. How he’d become my only friend. And he was the only one I hoad told I was going to follow my dad. Maybe he did tell the FBI. He said, “I hope you get my point.” Silcence settled around us. Loki looked around, puzzled. Mr. Ordson must have sensed what I was thinking because he said, “Now, Pete, you don’t really have any qualms about me, do you?”

Yes, perlious times then. Who to trust? And perlious times now, with paranoia running even deeper than during the Red Scare . . .

Monday, February 4, 2008

Things I'm Tired of Vol. 1

1 comment:

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