Pity the Students of English. Especially if They Have Me as Their Instructor.

In English class, you should be learning proper usage and grammar.

I say *should* because, in the case of the Change Essay, we're kind of teaching you that run-on sentences are acceptable.

I mean, look at the template we offer you:

At first, ________________, but then after _________ I thought ______________ and now ____________.

I mean, that's *begging* for a long sentence that will in some cases cause you to pass out because you've run out of oxygen before you get to the end of it.

While this is a good way to help you see the structure of the essay, it's not necessarily the best way to write your thesis statement. So I'd suggest breaking it up into smaller, easier-to-say-in-one-breath sentences, kind of like this:

At first, I thought we were supposed to learn proper English in this class. But after I saw the Change Essay template, I wondered what kind of other terrible examples of English I might see in this class. But now, after reading Brother Davidson's "Doing You A Slight Disservice" announcement, I see the template is only an example, not the law.

If you end up with a really long run-on sentence in your essay, I may point it out, but I'm not going to penalize you for it. Yet.

One other thing to consider: You may have been taught that it's completely improper to use the word "I" in an essay. This is not that kind of essay. This is a personal essay, coming from your perspective, so it's perfectly fine to say things like "This is what I experienced," or "This is what I think." The only cardinal sin (and this will sound funny since I just used this phraseology) is overuse of the word "you." You're writing your experience, not mine, so be careful writing things like . . . and now I can't even think of an example. Just be wary. I mean, use it when it's right, but not when it's wrong.

The *proper* use of you:

Maybe I can use this cartoon to explain. In this case, the "yous" are justified because it is in fact the boss who needs to address his behavior here. But generally speaking if we read an essay that's full of "you need to do this" or "you need to do that" we get all tensed up and we stop listening. And this is still a really bad example because in Conference talks we hear a lot of such talk, and we generally agree, "Yup, I need to do better." So it's really confusing. Maybe I shouldn't even have brought it up.

What kind of advice is that, you may ask? (Hey! He's doing it again!) That's just . . . English. It's a weird language that is often more exception than rule. It's meant to be played with, and for the most part this class is a safe place for play. I'll try, if I see play going beyond bounds, to explain why, but if I struggle with an explanation, it's because English is just so English.

ADDENDUM: I'm eavesdropping on my wife, who teaches English at BYUI and the College of Eastern Idaho, and she has this to say about "you" at least in this particular essay (and I'm paraphrasing): This is your essay, it's personal. It's you telling the story. So I should not read "this is what you should feel," or "this is what you should think" and the like. This is you telling the story. Use I.

Clear, right?