True. If you tilt your head and squint just right, you can see the figure of a striding -- that's the word all these Sasquatch people use: striding -- briskly across the Martian landscape. To prove they're politically sensitive, most of those babbling about this image on the Intertubes believe the figure to be female. That makes me feel warm all over: Female Sasquatch Spotted Striding Briskly on Mars! Probably going to stride briskly right over to the Mars rover that took her picture and re-wire the dang thing so it works better, reconfigure the solar panels so it absorbs more light and THEN demand that it be painted pink or fuschia. I'm sure if she were striding in a way that would allow us to see her left hand, she'd be carrying a purse.
NASA, on the other hand, insists this briskly striding figure is, in fact, a two-inch-tall hunk of Martian rock, carved by the wind. So consider: One one hand, we have an element of the (roll ominous music) FEDERAL GOVERNMENT once again engaging in a cover up, because all of their other cover-ups (Pentagon Papers, Watergate, Iran-Contra, Guantanamo, secret Bette Midler breeding program) were so successful. And we have a pure group of Internet-based truth seekers who have been so successful in selling their truth (Ron Paul) to everyone. Guess who comes up as more believable? (Believe it or not, searching for Ron Paul and Sasquatch pulls up more than 70,000 hits on the Internet, including a site that also offers itself as a web portal for the band "Testicle Bomb." There's your plug, boys.)
Eric Hartwell, a poster at the site linked here: http://www.unmannedspaceflight.com/index.php?showtopic=4927&st=30&p=108306, pokes fun at the Intertube dwellers, claiming to have spotted in the same NASA photograph other figures, some striding and some not, including: Jabba the Hutt, a poloar bear, a duck, a hand pointing to the striding Sasquatch and a Tiki head which, judging by the look on its face, is getting a good glance up the Sasquatch's skirt. (He posts pictures at the site as well. Please take a look. Then take the Jabba the Hutt picture out of scale and context and show it to your Star Wars fans just to watch them gibber.)
I'm fairly certain the first people to notice this striding figure thought, "Ha ha! Let's post ths somewhere so some idiots will believe it's a Sasquatch!" But believe me: I've been to Idaho State University's Sasquatch display. (ISU is an epicenter of Bigfoot research, God only knows why.) These people NEED NO ENCOURAGEMENT to be absolutely nuts. Because as Nose Hair Man (our site mascot) will attest, it's EASY to find familiar shapes in nature, because our eyes and brains want to make sense out of nonsense. This explains why I have identified three geese, a dragon and a coyote in the plaster swirls on my bedroom ceiling, and why I have a collection of rocks that resemble pigs' noses (which evidently prove that ancient pigs had easily-detachable and quickly-fossilizing snouts in order to make it easy for modern man to find and classify their remains). I love how much Mother Nature cooperates with mankind's whacked-out fantasies. . .
1 comment:
I think that's where big foot comes from. I think he's algae.
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