Safety Tips

Sometime late last week, our oldest came up with a list of "Safety Tips" he thought worthy to be shared with the rest of the family. I present them here for your edification:

1. Don't drop banana peels.

2. Don't put skate boards right next to car doors.

3. Never eat bubble gum while staring.

4. Never lift a car in front of an audience.

5. Don't laugh at people.

6. Use nice words in front of the entire world.

7. Never use fart guns.

8. Don't go slow.

9. Never shout at people.

10. Never unscrew belly buttons.

11. Don't show the sign of I'm a dork.

12. Don't sing in front of people.

13. Don't kiss people on the lips.

14. Don't wave at people.

15. Never kiss me.

16. Don't stick out your tongue.

17. Don't push people.

I can't assume that lifting cars while alone is acceptable, because it stands to reason that it isn't, but one could certainly infer that from Tip. No. 4.