How to Weird Up Your Kid

Once and a while, when you’re reading a book to them – especially one in which anthropomorphic animals take part – try out the following dialogue:

(From the book): “The bears were so excited to meet their new beaver neighbors, they took them a jar of their special honey to welcome them to the neighborhood.”

Then, without turning the page, say, “The bears poured the honey on the surprised beaver family, then ate them.” Close the book. Act like it's absolutely normal that characters in kids' books eat other characters.

I tried this on my four-year-old this weekend. He didn’t blink. But then wanted me to finish the story “the right way,” he said. So I read it some more, but added “and then they ate them” at every opportunity. He loved the story and wanted me to read it again. And again. With the embellishments. When I stopped with the embellishments, he protested. So they got weirder.

So who got weirded up? I’m not sure.