This is Why YOU Can't Be President

This is Why YOU Can’t Run for President

Or me either, for that matter.

It’s not that we don’t have good ideas. It’s not that were’ not electable.

It’s because we’re dumb as rocks.

That’s probably a bit harsh. To the rocks.

I have no idea how to solve the jobs crisis aside from putting forth a catchy slogan. I’d have to rely on the advice of experts, and we’ve all seen, since 2008, what happens when politicians rely on the advice of economic experts.

This all reminds me of, what was that movie, with Kevin Kline, in which he is the doppelganger to the president and becomes the president after the president suffers a fatal boner? Don’t remember. I do remember Charles Grodin is in it. He’s the expert Dave the President brings in to solve the budget crisis. Which they solved in an afternoon poring over the nation’s budget. And the plan for which he got shoved through Congress in a manner of minutes.

This is why I will not run for president. I’d be scribbling doodles in the budget margins. I don’t know any financial experts I could smuggle into the Oval Office. And those Killbots, they do have some pretty good ideas.