Saturday, May 2, 2009

I Explain My Fetish

It dawned on me a few days ago that, in the photo slide introducing my blog, I brag about my rocks shaped like pig noses, but I had yet to share them with the rest of the world. So here you go.

Yes, I do collect rocks that look like pig noses. I have two so far. That's not a very big collection, I admit. But every collection has to start somewhere.

Lest you think I'm obsessed, I do not see pig noses everywhere. I'm not like those people who see the virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich. But when I see something that strongly resembles a pig nose, I stand up and take notice. Behold:

So let's start with this one. I actually found this one in the alley behind my house in Sugar City, Idaho. It has that rounder shape you expect from noses from older pigs. Yes, I have spent a lot of time thinking about pig noses. I'm glad you noticed.

This one here is actually the first rock-as-pig nose I found, and this one comes from Idaho's City of Rocks. There are probably regulations about not taking rocks out of a national monument, and if so, I apologize and I will return it forthwith by mail.

I use them, primarily, to drive my wife nuts. Once and a while, I will grab one of the rocks (especially this last one) hold it up to my face and say, "Hey! It's a pig nose!" She's to the point now she won't even look at me when I say it. It's a credit to our marriage that she has remained with me through this fetish. I do remind her that there are certainly worse things I could be doing, and that if rocks-as-pig noses ever get her to the point they're going to erode our marriage, I will dispose of them.

But until then, I'd love some more. So as you're wandering, keep an eye out for rocks I can add to my collection. I thank you.

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