Winter Has Arrived

It’s winter in Madison County when . . .

• You have to put your truck into four-wheel drive to get out of your driveway.
• You have to use your snow shovel to clean your windshield off.
• You have to climb mounds of snow left in the middle of the street when you’re crossing the street on foot.
• You have to punch through mounds of snow left in the middle of the street when you’re driving.
• BYU-Idaho students still assume they can walk out into the street without looking to see if drivers are stopping.
• You shovel your sidewalks three times a day and still have to shovel them again in the morning.
• Your neighbors swap giving their grandkids rides on the riding lawn mower to giving them rides on the four-wheeler with the blade on the front.
• The cameras at the traffic light at Second East and Highway 33 stop working so you have to run the red light rather than sit there forever.
• Suddenly every tire store in the county wants to “sipe” your tires.
• Wal-Mart is sold out of every bit of snow gear imaginable – and will never, ever, re-stock.
• Kmart sells its three pairs of snow boots and six shovels.
• O’Dells Furniture announces a Spectacular Winter’s Finally Here Blowout Sale, close on the heels of its Spectacular Indian Summer is Going to Last Forever Sale and followed by its Spectacular Get Your Entire Home Re-Furnished for Christmas Sale.
• Booger-freezing cold is forecast within days.
• Everyone starts dressing like Eskimos except for the teenagers, who insist on wearing shorts and t-shirts while saying “I’m not cold.”