WART!

For anyone out there who, like me, is tired of warts on their fingers and toes, just let me say this: Try some Mexican over-the-counter wart removal stuff.

Chemically -- if I'm translating my pidgin-Spanish correctly -- this stuff we've been using for the past few weeks is no different than the paint-on, salicyclic acid-based stuff we've used domestically for more than a year. But this stuff is killing off the warts like nobody's business.

Believe me, I've tried everything. First with the paint-on stuff. Then with the home-freezing kit. I even tried the duct tape technique. The only thing that seemed to work was a six-hours-long plunge into a chlorinated hot pool at Heise Hot Springs, though I didn't spread the word lest the folks there didn't want it known of the pool's curative qualities.

The pool got rid of all but four of my more than fifteen warts. This Mexican stuff is now getting rid of the final four. And it's working on the kids, too. I mean on the kids' warts. It's not making them disappear. Ha ha.