Behold, the Wonders of Nature. Now Poke It With A Stick.

So, any guesses as to what kind of a bird this is?

Even more important, what do you think it's doing, splatted into that little corner nook on the front of our house? I know it looks as if it's been put to shame in a corner, but when that happened to me as a kid, I didn't do it suspended more than ten feet into the air, clinging to a brick mortar joint only, at most, a quarter of an inch deep. Surely there are more comfortable spots for a bird to perch.

When I got home from work and saw it there, I figured, hey, we've got a dead bird horribly splatted into a corner of the house. But you know, it doesn't have that typical splayed look of the other horribly splatted birds I've seen. So though I've bet lunch with Michelle that the bird is dead, I'm officially not so sure now. I do know it's either puked, splatted goo, pooped, or dropped entrails onto my snow shovel.

Naturally, when I saw it there, I wanted to poke it with a stick. Handily, I've got an eight-foot length of PVC pipe just inside the doorway. But I haven't poked it yet. I had visions of something like this happneing:

Copyrighted by Columbia Pictures. Used here under the Fair Use Doctrine for illustrative purposes.

Or, worse yet, it would come alive, swoop down and me and then fly amok in the house. That would be much, much worse than the time that bat got inside.

So here's to hoping it's alive. And here's to hoping it'll do something about that little neighborhood dog that likes to wee in our front yard.