Monday, March 16, 2009

Going Herbal, Part Two

I mentioned a while ago that we were going to start trying some herbal remedies for the minor afflctions that ail our microscopic sector of mankind. You may also recall I promised to keep you posted. So here goes:

For the kids: Garlic pills. Really. I think they're to help boost immunity and help them ward off the vapors and/or coughs. I'm not really sure what "vapors" are, but when you're feeding your kids garlic pills, you need to add in odd words like that.

For the adults: As we're both prone to allergies, we're trying a concoction that's supposed to help detoxify the liver which, according to the local witch doctor, is the bane of allergy sufferers everywhere, since that's the organ that's supposed to be filtering out the allergens but can't because it's already sorting through the swill of other contaminants we readily take into our bodies with the air we breathe, water we drink and food we eat. Our concoction consits of a couple drams of freshly-squeezed lemon juice, a scruple of lemon oil and a dribble of peppermint. For those interested in a play-by-play of how the first one went down, read on:

I gulp the elixir (another word I get to use more often now, along with dram, scruple and dribble).

WHOOOOOOOM the lemon juice shoots straight to the basement, burning holes through my innards as it descends. Look out, toxified liver, that's all I can say. Lemon juice is on the way. The cold, burning feeling lasts for at least five minutes., as if I'd swallowed a lump of Icy Hot.

WHOOOOOOSH at the same time the peppermint screams up into the sinuses as if Amora, Goddess of Mustard, had climbed up the nose of the other gods.

Frankly, I have NO IDEA where the lemon oil went. Perhaps it serves as a lubricant to get the other ingredients to where they need to go faster.

Repeat, morning and night.

We're supposed to do this for three or four months, then see if it has any effect on our allergies. As far as side effects go, I suppose the burning and nose-climbing is at least different than the side effects I get from my OTC Claritin knockoff: occasional bouts of tingling fingers and dizziness, at least until I get used to the chemicals swimming around in my bloodstream. I have confidence, at least, that the herbal stuff knows where to go, as it arrived in the traditional problem area (the sinuses) and the alleged problem area (the liver) in five seconds or less, if my body's reactions are any indication. When I take the Claritin knockoff, I'mnot sure the stuff knows where to go immediately, which is why, I think, I get the tingling and dizziness. Of course, it also works to clear up my allergies. We'll see if the lemon/peppermint elixir can do the same.

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