I am a murderer. A murderer! A MUR-diddly-URDLER! I had to flush a goldfish down the toilet last night. A sea-kitten. PETA will have my miserable hide. Worse yet, the toilet was clogged, so I had to plungie-wungie the goldfish at the same time of the (whisper) murder.My wife made me do it. That's it. Blame the wife. But the poor fish was ailing. Ailing. I am scum. A few weeks ago, I threw a spider in the fireplace. When a fire was burning. Isaac made me do it.
I come home every night and see the shovel and axe on the front porch. They're there to help us remove ice from the driveway. I'll probably be using them on Michelle's ficus in the next few weeks. Unless I go to Bible Camp first.
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