Monday, January 26, 2009

Belief Index

As I was looking up a word in the dictionary, I had a crazy thought strike: Why not set up something called the Belief Index, where people of multiple opposing views can agree to adopt (or at least agree to appear to adopt) beliefs that others hold, in order to create a false sense of harmony on the Internet? Well, aside from the fact that such a false sense is already doing very well on the Internet without my little idea, thank you very much.

It’s still entertaining to envision. It could go something like this:
User1: I offer a belief that the earth is less than 7,000 years old for a pretended belief that gay marriage is acceptable. Any takers?

User2: That’s a tall order. I’m still trying to find someone willing to swap belief in evolution for a pretended belief that the only real Kennedy Legacy is the Apollo program, the Peace Corps, and the half-dollar.

User1: Duuuude.

(Yes, submitters would have to be up front if they truly intended to believe their newly-swapped belief, or merely plan to pretend such belief on the cynical notion that most everyone practices belief and tolerance of belief for the things they already believe in. Which, of course, doesn’t happen in our day. Don’t know why I brought it up.)

Maybe this could be a subculture on Twitter, or some other similar useless Internet venture, where the illusion of informed thought and discussion of the issues of today is really a sign that U.S. productivity declines are not due to outsourcing, the souring economy and other such malarkey but due to hours frittered away on useless pursuits.

What’s worse is I forgot what word I was looking up in the dictionary when these thoughts trampled through my brain like a herd of constipated wiener dogs. And I won’t fall into the cranial trap of looking through the dictionary again.

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