Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Let's Send Betty White to the Moon

So, Betty White was on “Saturday Night Live.”

Didn’t see the show. Haven’t watched SNL in years, as I’ve got better things to do on Saturday nights. But apparently she was a big hit, what with the old jokes and the tee-hee hilarity of hearing an old lady swear.

Now folks want her to host the Oscars. Appear on “Glee,” whatever that is. Go ahead. Haven’t watched the Oscars in years, nor have I ever seen an episode of “Glee.” You want Betty White to appear on these shows? More power to you.

I say we do something better with Betty. I say we put her on the Moon.

NASA could definitely use the publicity, what with its Constellation rocket program being cut and the goal to land on Mars being moved out from 2020 to a firm “whenever.” I’ll bet if I could get a strong surge of mindless Internet support behind an effort to get Betty White on the moon, political pressure could be brought to bear on Congress to make the necessary allocations and President Obama could announce, in a dramatic Kennedyesque proclamation, that “the United States has made the goal to land Betty White on the Moon not before the decade is out, because we can’t be certain how long Betty will be with us, but certainly before the end of 2015.” Or 2013, if we’re feeing generous and exceptionally motivated.

And I say we send Abe Vigoda with her. Just think of the possibilities. “One small step for man, one giant leap for geriatric science!” Arthur C. Clarke and Carl Sagan certainly advocated sending ancients into space. Why not us?

Besides, Snickers would certainly want in on the endorsement deal.

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